AppleTreePets: Day Forty Three

Tricks of the Trade

I played a trick on Rooney yesterday. Well, to be honest, I've used the same trick several times. She doesn't seem to remember. It goes like this: Rooney is outside completely ignoring my attempts at getting her to come in. She can't hear me calling her name. She can't remember her name. What she does remember is that Dad has been gone all day and she really misses him. So, I say, "Is Dad home?" or "Let's go see if Dad's here!" The word, "Dad" always elicits a response. The first thing it determines is that she is not deaf. The second is that Dad is more important than being outside. The third thing is that Mom is not above employing tricks to get her way.

Rooney's reaction is to perk up her ears and stand in perfect conformation, worthy of any show dog. When she was an actual show dog, the handler had to work really hard to get her to act like she wasn't being abused. She was as far from being abused as a creature can get. Rooney is loved wherever she goes. Nobody remembers my name; nobody forgets Rooney.

After the neurons connect and Rooney realizes Dad might actually be here, she runs through the yard and into the house, where I have left all doors and pathways clear in anticipation of the incoming freight train. Jack, who is already back to napping on the couch, now realizes something's up. (God, it's so easy to fool these two!) The first thing Jack does is assess the situation. Is this the real deal or a false alarm? He looks at Rooney, then at me and decides to support his sister. They both go lumbering into the dining room to see if Dad's car is in the driveway. I get about fifteen minutes with this play action before it occurs to them I might be wrong. Jack will come to me and give me the look that says, "Are you screwing with us? Is he really coming home?" I try to use this technique sparingly, and usually after I've gotten a text that he is, in fact, on the way home, but it's tempting to use it when all else fails.

Another one of my tricks also has to do with Dad. This is the one I use when I am sitting in my chair, trying to enjoy food, with two Bullys staring me down, drooling long strings of grossness. I simply tell them to "Go tell Dad to give you something! He's in the kitchen. Go ask him." Jack is the first to get this. He gives me a nod, looks to make sure Dad is actually in the kitchen, then runs in to tell him Mom said he should give them something to eat. I can't tell you how much Dad appreciates this.

Oh, I nearly forgot one of my favorite tricks. This one works best on Jack. If he is completely ignoring me, I just ring the doorbell. Works every time. Jack also knows when we hit the button on the phone to let someone in the gate. And, they know the difference between shaking a bag of dog treats or whatever I can grab like cough drops to try to get the same effect.

Before you call ASPCA or feel sorry for these two let me remind you they live like royalty! And, they have destroyed every sofa and chair in the house. And, I have to endure things like bending over to pick something up off the floor at the precise moment Jack decides to shake his head after getting a big drink of water. And, they both like to wipe their mouths on my chair after eating and drinking. And, they both prefer Andy to me. Hmmm...I'm starting to see a pattern here...