I've had a nasty cough for over a week now and it is wreaking havoc on my sleep. I finally gave up at about 4:45 a.m. and just got out of bed. Hot coffee seems to help, so I went out to the kitchen to make some. The first thing I saw - the cats lined up in a perfect row across the kitchen floor. I tried to take a picture but they came out blurry. I posted them anyway.
To see things up close, I take off my glasses. I then promptly forget where I put them, so I have to grope around, searching with my hands. There I was, before dawn, wheezing and coughing, blind, tapping on things, in need of coffee and tripping over cats who are constantly confused by my actions.
For example, I know how much the cats like running water. I've tried various fountains but none really worked well. I had a friend recommend one so I bought it online. I knew before I opened the box the ceramic item had not been treated like a "fragile" object during shipping. I doubted it was supposed to rattle.
I had to wait for a replacement to arrive. This time, it was immersed in packing peanuts. I hate packing peanuts almost as much as I hate confetti in greeting cards. So, I did what I have been doing for forty five years - I asked Andy to unpack it. I warned him about the peanuts, but he assured me he had this. The last thing I saw was him on his hands and knees trying to retrieve packing peanuts from under the car in the driveway. I quietly went into the house.
Quite awhile later he came in carrying the fountain parts. He was not happy because there were no directions to assemble it. I doubted they would send an electrical device without instructions but I've learned not to question him, especially when he's done me a favor that involved chasing Styrofoam pieces down the street. I kept my mouth shut and washed the non-electrical parts of the fountain.
Well, he finally found the directions - on the desk where he left them when he took them out of the box. His next complaint was that the directions were backwards. The reason? Because they came from China and they read things from right to left. God help him. I still haven't figured that one out yet.
You would have thought we were assembling a car from scratch. This simple, two piece fountain, became the bane of his existence. Nothing made sense. It was so simple that he made it hard. Now, one thing I've learned is that, if he can't make something fit easily, he will force it to fit. He is very Fred Flintstone - no, Bam-Bam Rubble - in that regard. He will literally make a square peg fit into that round hole and throw in a "goddammit" for good measure! This is one of the reasons why he wasn't allowed to dress any babies in onesies...
After much swearing and heavy sighs, the fountain was ready for water. Plugging it in was my job. Now, I know the man would die for me, but he draws the line at buying it for my cats. Fountain worked and all that was left was to convince the cats to try it. Of course, Fancy was right there, watching the whole process, so he was the first to investigate. He jumped up onto the counter then instantly jumped up and backwards like he was on a spring! He jumped so high and flew so far I thought he got electrocuted! I don't know what he thought it was but the look I got said, "WTF! Can't you just put water in a bowl like a normal person?"
To show Fancy he's the bigger man, Eli went next. He made a grand gesture out of enjoying the water. He drank and drank, then looked back at Fancy with water dripping from his chin; licking his lips like it was the best thing in the world and Fancy was missing out. Fancy just looked at him and I'm pretty sure muttered, "idiot," before going outside to drink out of the pool.
There is never a dull moment here. As I'm typing, something just buzzed past my ear and Eli is in pursuit. I hope it's not a drone...
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| 4 am |
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| A little less blurry... |
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| Thee Fountain |
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