Day Three Hundred Forty Nine

Clowns, Mr. Clean and Cats

At the risk of sounding like a profiler, I suspect everyone has their idea of what a bad guy looks like. In my nightmares it's always a guy who is dressed like a clown...

 

or looks a lot like Mr. Clean - tall, bald, and sporting a toothpick in his mouth. Hmmm, perhaps I have uncovered a clue as to why I hate housework.


Yea, there he is - scares me to death

Anyway, my huge, fearless guard dog (I am referring to Jack here because, not only would Rooney be fine if a burglar came to rob us, she would expect him to really like her) apparently doesn't have a human "type" he mistrusts. I mean the last guy who was here fixing the fireplace was a big, loud, man with a thick Greek accent, who looked like Telly Savalas - and Jack would have gone home with him.

On the other hand, if someone showed up here dressed in a bunny or cat costume - they'd be dead before they got through the door. As a matter of fact, the door would have the front half of Jack's torso through it. I am not exaggerating.



This guy is not getting through the door -
even with that big old carrot as a bribe.

Some of my scariest, heart stopping moments come when Jack slams himself against the front windows or doors, and I run to see what gun wielding, toothpick chewing monster is breaking in, only to catch the sight of a cat's tail as it strolls past the house.

One would think I should be used to this by now, after five years, but he gets me every time. I guess there have been so many false alarms I am sure the next time will be the real thing. It's not like we live in a crime ridden area. Hey, I watch Nightline! I mean, some of the most gruesome murders happen in suburbia...