Just like every old person I've ever known, I fall asleep most nights while watching television. Andy and I have taken to waking the other with a startling, "ARE YOU AWAKE??" Or worse, "somebody" turns on the bright, over head light and says, "Oh, did I wake you?" as you bolt upright and think you're being abducted by aliens.
Sometimes, we both fall asleep at the same time, and wake up to something entirely different playing on the box on the wall. Then, we drag ourselves to bed and wonder of all wonders - we're WIDE awake.
That's what happened last night. It was like I had a power nap and was raring to go. Well, my brain and eyes were. My body was still asleep on the recliner. Oh, and since the bunny condo has been relocated to the back yard, something has been setting off the motion sensor right outside my window. Coincidence? I think not...Somewhere, lurking, is a bunny killer...
It will go from complete darkness to BRIGHT AS DAY in a split second. It reminds me of those movies where there's a jailbreak and they hit the mega watt spotlights, sending shimmering shards of light over the prison's barbwire fence. That, or the alien abduction thing. (We watch A LOT of TV and just finished the entire X Files series.) That I never see a bloody thing as I peer through the blinds, only adds to the creepiness.
Indulge me for a moment as I rant. These are the exact same lights that refuse to come on when you want them to. Like when 300 pounds of Bullmastiff have just been let out at 3 a.m. and you want to track their progress. Or, you're out there alone and hear a strange noise. You can jump up and down, waving your arms, swing a broom or pool brush in front of it, throw a rock at it - nothing. Dead as dead.
Then - for no apparent reason, other than to wake and piss you off, the damn lights will come on in the middle of the night - every few minutes - or in other words, just as you fall back to sleep. Whew - I needed to get that off my chest....
Okay, so we've established I was wide awake. I cleaned the house (in my mind,) made up a to do list (in same mind,) and tried the foolproof breathing technique I read about on Facebook; guaranteed to make you fall sound asleep. It never does.
Then, just as I was about to finally doze off, Rooney had a massive fit. This wasn't just any fit - she was losing her mind - scratching and snuffling and throwing herself around. It was a mess. I jumped up and grabbed my phone to get some light without turning on actual ones. (I am clearly not the aforementioned spotlight turner-on-er.) Her face was a bloody mess from scratching it and she had hives!
Of course, the commotion woke Andy. Now, I'm sorry, but he has slept, or feigned sleep, through some actual medical crises I've endured. But if his precious Rooney so much as farts sideways, he's wide awake; ready to perform whatever's necessary to take care of his princess. (A little harsh? Hey, I didn't sleep last night...)
So, after getting her cleaned up and settled, I knew there was no way I was going back to sleep, so I went out to the family room and turned on the one thing guaranteed to get me to dreamland - TV. I had previously taped, "My Cat From Hell" and honestly believe I was supposed to watch this episode.
First of all, some incredibly stupid people had a nasty cat who terrorized everybody and tore the stuffing out of Jackson (Galaxy - for those of you unfamiliar with this incredible show where this guy is a cat whisperer.) After he required emergency medical care, from this horrid cat's bites and scratches, he recommended it see a vet and get on some kitty meds - as in mood stabilizers. 'Ya think?
That they took it to a vet who was afraid of it and never examined it is another story. Anyway, Jackson finally got through to these numbskulls, who had a baby he feared was going to get eaten, and all was well. Cat wazzed out on meds; baby safe.
His second visit was to a guy who had a Savannah cat that was an escape artist. This was where I started to pay attention. The Savannah is a hybrid cross between an African Serval and a housecat. They are huge, wild and gorgeous. No, I'm not getting one - yet - well maybe someday - No! I have my hands full with Abys.... Anyway! his cat really wanted to go outside. So much so it figured out how to turn the door knob and open the door.
Now, this guy loves his cat and was terrified it would fall victim to the coyotes roaming his area. Jackson helped him to see a Savannah is nearly wild and needs lots of stimulation. I guess, in California, they have everything, because Jackson took this guy to an actual indoor playground for pets. The cat went crazy running and jumping through all of the cool stuff there was to explore.
That got me thinking about my two wild cats and how they just need to get crazy sometimes. I am so glad we have places for them to explore. And really grateful for the ledges I used to curse. I love all of my feline babies, but I have to say, the Abys have brought me such joy and laughter I easily forget the heart stopping moments. Crashes out of nowhere still jolt my brain, but even those are becoming mundane.
As I've said before, you can acquire "pets" or you can choose to share your life with another species. The latter means you both need to adapt, adjust and acknowledge the other's needs.
In my case, I am learning to adapt to the, "Are you freaking kidding me!?" moments; adjust to the tripping, fish breath, cricket slaughter, and fetishes; acknowledge they are all unique and my life is better because they're all in it.
They, in turn, have to learn how to adapt to an old lady prone to fits of hugs and kisses; adjust to her strict "No peeing on the floor" policy; and acknowledge she flat out refuses to allow anyone to harass her precious lizard (even though everyone knows cats catch lizards, and here she goes and sets one up in a glass box but booby-traps it so we have a heart attack whenever we so much as look at it...) Hey, it's all about compromise.
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| That's right, you stupid cats - she loves me, so there! |
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