Day Three Hundred Fifty Seven

The Road Less Traveled - Because it Hurts!

Sometimes, things happen that send you down a different path. It may be a path you wanted to take but, for whatever reason, couldn't. Today, I had no choice but to take the darn path.

I have been putting off walking for several reasons: my back hurts, my knees ache and I can't put weight on my left foot. Good reasons not to walk, right? Well, I thought so. Despite nearly everyone in my family telling me it would be good for me to walk, I really wasn't all that keen on hobbling around the neighborhood like a relative of Quasimodo.

Nearly every creature in the house, except for Copper and the Abys, is overweight. Jack and Rooney are so much so, it's a worry. The recommendation was they get daily exercise.

If you're good at math, or a member of my family, you put two and two together and come up with the algorithm for Mom should walk the dogs every day. Well, Mom has a bad arm (forgot that one,) back, knees and foot. She is not up for walking a Chihuahua let alone a 180# pound Protector of the People.

Today, the choice was taken from me. The pool is getting refinished and all the gates are open, so the dogs had to be walked out front. It was either walk them or let them poop on the floor. I seriously considered the latter, but you have no idea how massive a Bullmastiff poop is. No idea.

Remember when I mentioned the contraption Andy bought which is a sort of harness made of rope. Well, I will never be able to figure out how it works. Ever. So, I resorted to what I can use - a choke collar.

Seriously - this thing goes over and under
and voila! it's a harness. Not happening.

The problem is, Jack is capable of pulling me along if he decides to take off, no matter what kind of leash he's wearing. I pictured myself being dragged down the street behind him, like a big, old lady balloon.

 

So, Jack and I had a serious conversation before I opened the front door. It went like this:

Me: Jack, now look. I need to take you out front, but under no circumstances can you pull me. Got it?
Jack: Outside? We're going outside? I want to go outside! Let's go outside!
Me: Jack, you aren't listening to me. I need you to behave out there.
Jack: Okay. I want to go out now. No pulling. I don't know what that means but I won't do it. Promise.

Meanwhile, out front there was a guy in the bed of a pickup truck, lots of squirrels and somebody walking two Shih Tzus. We waited until the coast was sort of clear.

Rooney was mortified and sure I meant to take her, too. Even though she did not have a collar on, she plastered herself against Jack's side, maybe figuring I wouldn't notice her. There would have to be an imminent attack of zombies coming before I would ever take two of them out at the same time. I carefully opened the front door, not really knowing what to expect.

One of the advantages of having a grossly overweight dog is they are kind of slow. Jack was only interested in doing his thing, walking as far as the next door neighbor's driveway, then turning back. Piece of cake.

Then it was Rooney's turn. Even though she had been body-slamming the front door the entire time Jack was out, when I put the lead on her, she turned into a show dog. I was shocked. I expected her to give me trouble but she was good as gold.

She wanted to walk a bit so we ventured out onto the street and started walking. It felt good. She didn't tug on the leash and no one appeared to distract her. We walked to the end of the street and back. Not far - but a good start. I may make this a regular thing.

As we were walking, I thought about all the excuses I've used to not do it. Isn't it fun when life kicks you out of the nest and you realize - hey, I can fly.....well, walk - but you get my point....

Who knows - this could be the start of
a whole new me...

Day Three Hundred Fifty Six

Oh, Did I Wake You?

It has been a "What the heck!?" kind of morning. It started by me being awakened by one of Andy's signature sneezes. These are not your ordinary, run of the mill sneezes. His are like shock bombs being detonated next to your ear. I shot up in bed, wondering if the world was ending. His, "sorry" doesn't cut it, either. I guess it could be worse. He could have eaten Mexican food yesterday.

So, I was WIDE awake and needed to start my day. I never know what to expect - or what I will see - when I crawl of bed and venture into the kitchen each morning. Some days I just want to turn around and crawl back into bed. Today was one of those mornings.

First of all, Andy was taking Rooney in for an eye exam. She has entropion, which is when the eyelids curl in and the end result is irritation from eyelashes. A simple operation can fix the problem, but in a dog with kidney dysplasia, there are no simple operations. She could go into kidney failure under anesthesia. So, we've been using drops to help ease the discomfort. (Imagine an eyelash in your eye - constantly.)

To make matters worse, she developed an allergic reaction to something - the eye drops, Florida - who knows. Anyway, he's taking her in for an expert's opinion. The office is a good distance away, so Rooney had to skip breakfast.

That always makes for a bit of drama as she follows me around, heaving sighs and throwing herself down in the middle of the kitchen floor. I guess she figures out of sight out of mind, and she has no intention of being forgotten.

Then, to my surprise, Fancy jumped up on the counter looking like One Eyed Joe. He had one eye completely shut. He let me examine it, and even put in a drop of saline, but I started to wonder how Andy would be able to handle both Rooney and Fancy at the vet's office...

The real surprise came when I looked up and saw three Ragdolls sitting on the counter, looking very guilty. I squinted my eyes (a mom thing) turned my head slightly and inquired, "Which one of you did this?" They just sat there in solidarity; innocently blinking. 

Chance finally broke. He dropped his head and then looked at me sideways and said, "I did it. He's mean and acts like he's a big old thing around here. I gave him a good one."  Hmmmmm

You know, life is hard enough. Why do we have to go around clocking each other - literally and figuratively.



I just scared the frack out of myself - for the millionth time - by setting off the Ssscat can. I don't know how much more my heart can take. It's like having a demon living here that jumps out and yells, "Gotcha!" However, it is a necessary evil and I must learn to buck up.

The reason I set it off was because I wanted to see if Copper had eaten all her crickets. What I witnessed was a standoff. There was one intrepid cricket left. Copper was staring it down, and the little bug was sitting perfectly still; not moving an antenna. I knew who would win, so I quietly walked away.

Well, not so quietly as to fool the sensor which set off the burst of air. Even when I know it's coming, it still gets me. It's like those horrid Jack-in-the-Box toys. God, I hate those. Stupid song then WHAM - up shoots a creepy clown. I mean, what is the point?? Come to think of it, why do parents delight in scaring their children with Peek-a-Boo and creepy toys? I need to Google that...

Tell me this wasn't invented by a psychopath...

Well, I am housebound again; waiting for the pool people to show up. Or not. My money's on "not." I mean, the weather has been perfect. They'll wait until it's raining then have an excuse to not show. In the meantime, the kitties are enjoying being outside. So far, I've heard no yowls, howls, screams or splashes. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Day Three Hundred Fifty Five

And the Countdown Begins

I am only ten days away from my goal, which was to write a blog entry every day for a year. My intention was to write about the creatures with whom I share my life. I also intended to keep my stories factual and funny. I did pretty much stick to the facts - whether or not it was funny is subjective and depends on your sense of humor.

What I can say is that focusing on animals for almost a year has resulted in a few changes in my life. First of all, I made the decision to adopt a Vegan lifestyle. I have seen firsthand, creatures as tiny as a cricket, show fear, cunning, stress and panic. That I have caused most of it grieves me. But needs must and, in the food chain, they are a lizard's main source of protein. But! This is the only trauma I wish to inflict upon another living creature.

Trust. I have witnessed a reptile learn to trust a human to feed it and take care of its basic needs. That BD has also trained me to feed it crickets with tongs, as it basks in the warmth of the lights it needs to replicate the atmosphere of an Australian outback. Never having been to Australia myself, I must trust those who have instructed me as to the proper care of a lizard.

Change in Perspective. Paying closer than average attention to animal behavior, so as to glean blog-worthy material, has given me a perspective I would otherwise have missed. There are ten animals living here - two Bullmastiffs, six cats, a rabbit and a Bearded Dragon - and, for the most part, they all get along.

Oh, as with any family unit, there are occasional differences of opinion that manifest themselves into hair pulling, spitting and swatting. Kind of like what one would see on a pre-school playground after it was somebody's birthday and mommy brought cupcakes for everyone.  It happened here this morning.

I have been taking advantage of the pool people not showing up when they say they will, by letting the cats enjoy the outdoors. The cats are happy; I am not. Anyway, I heard some serious caterwauling and hissing and ran to intervene.

Fight or Flight. Eli and Fancy were having a standoff. Neither really wanted to fight or back down and let the other win. Those two have some real issues and, in my anthropomorphic way, I have decided it's because Eli was here first and he is most threatened by Fancy, who is as perfect as a cat can get.

Let me put it this way, other than Boo!, who is intentional in her destruction of property,

 

Eli is almost always at the center of some chaos. Eli is the one to "accidentally" screw things up. He is the one who actually hurts me with love. Eli has a way of being in the wrong place at a terrible time. He even looks hang-dog. I feel sorry for him, and find myself explaining away his behavior to the other residents. For the most part, they just don't like him.

So, there they were, King Cat and the Interloper, facing off. Their backs were arched; pupils dilated. I did what any good parent would do - I squirted them with water. Of course I did it in such a way they weren't sure from where the deluge was coming. All they knew was they were getting wet and that trumped whatever stupid thing they were fighting over.

"I hate you!"
"I was here first!"

As Fancy strolled away (hey, he is way too cool to run from anything) I saw Chance give him a sideways glance and get out of his way. He does sort of do a parting of the seas kind of exit whenever he's been in an altercation. He reminds me of The Rock after a fight, as people scramble to get out of his way.

Laughter. So, no, it isn't always peace and harmony, but that is more the exception than the rule. They play, eat, sleep without incident and even take turns sharing my lap. And there is a lot more laughter here than angst.

There has to be a lesson here somewhere...

Andy and I rarely get through a meal without cracking up over all the ways they devise to get us to part with our food. Jack and Rooney can count better than some Kindergarteners when it comes to keeping things fair when it comes to leftovers. 

"One for you and one for you" doesn't mean the same thing unless it comes from the same human. If I give Jack something off my plate and Andy gives Rooney something, it doesn't count as fair. Jack has perfected the indignant and astonished stare to back up that assessment.

Enlightenment. All in all, it has been an enlightening and interesting year. I have learned a lot about myself and I have learned more from them about how to live a centered life. I'd say it has been a very good year.

Day Three Hundred Fifty Four

Another Monday

We had a fairly quiet weekend. Because the weather was so nice, we had the doors and windows open most of the time. This made the kitties very happy. That, and there are no obstacles on the deck which makes racing and chasing very easy.

At some point, Baby Boo! hurt her leg or paw - I couldn't tell which - and she was limping around. I managed to grab her and did a cursory inspection of her hip, leg and paw, but couldn't find anything amiss. Anyway, she seemed more agitated that she had a problem and it was slowing her down, than at the actual pain she was feeling. Anyway, she shook it off and, in no time, was back to being Boo!

Boy, the word's out about me. I just got a plea to save the yellow banded bumblebee. I thought all bees had yellow bands. Hey, I'm in. If it's endangered, I want to help. Well, that is unless it's a Republican...

Here are a few pictures from this weekend. Like I said, we were kinda lazy...

Well, I must buy more crickets today, so I need to go. I leave you with this last bit of animal-antics...

Dash and Finn know Boo! is hiding
under the sheet. She actually got stuck
under there and Dash had to help her out.

Cat on Display

Hole Cat

Bowl Cat

 

Day Three Hundred Fifty Three

Sunday Morning

 

It's a beautiful day here in Orlando, Florida. Some would call it unseasonably cool. I call it Nirvana. Andy asked if I was cold. I informed him I LOVE to be cold. I will take it over dripping wet from sweat any day.

 

And my buddies love it, too. Boo! is acting like she's cold though; all curled up resembling a sphinx. She is also looking for trouble.

 



Whoa! If I push this button
something really cool happens.

 

I can make this thing disappear!!

Did you get my best side?



She is our little princess. But don't think for a moment we trust her to do the "right" thing. Well, right by our standards. In Boo! World, anything that sparkles, flashes, cracks, pops, explodes, dances, etc. is perfect. That is why Andy removed her from in front of this glass plate right after the photo shoot was done.

Early this morning, while I was feeding Copper, I blinked and there was Boo! - inside the terrarium! Copper was doing a triple-take - looking first at the crickets he is programmed to notice; then at Boo! who had no business being there; then at me for help.

I removed the four pound menace, but it wasn't easy because she dug her claws into the terrarium's carpet. Copper looked at me, and I had no trouble reading his mind..."Okay - uh - I did not sign on for this. That thing is determined to kill me and, if I could, I would kill it first! I'm just sayin..."

I have seen photos of Beardies and cats together - living in harmony. I can't fathom that happening here, but I am stubborn in wanting everyone to live in peaceful co-existence.

What am I saying? I raised two kids who never caught on to that concept. If one considers lobbing a phone at the other one's head, resulting in a minor concussion, or knocking the other one off a bar stool and into a wall, co-existence, then they were spot on.

We also went through an entire decade color coding and labeling containers filled with leftovers someone claimed as their own. One someone really cared; the other someone was constantly hungry and did not care who claimed it. Didn't even blink at the warning it was spat upon as insurance.

That was an interesting time in our lives. Now they're best buds. For the most part. There are still minor dust ups, but they are few and far between. The point is, how can I expect my furry kids to peacefully co-exist when I never could get my human kids to do so.



"If you tell Mom what I did I will pop off your head - got it?"
AKA - Sibling Rivalry - Nature's way of insuring there
aren't a lot of three headed people running around.

Speaking of siblings, everyone else is out on the deck, catching some rays; chasing the squirrels who hang on the outside of the screen taunting them; chasing each other when there's nothing else to hunt down. They seem to like the fact there are no obstacles in the way, since we haven't put things back on the deck. They can chase each around and get up a full head of steam. I have been waiting for the inevitable splash for two days.








Day Three Hundred Fifty Two

Babies, Boo! and Birthdays

My cousin's son (my second cousin) and his wife have a new baby girl. She was born a little early, but is strong and healthy enough to be home in her own crib. I am so happy for them.

She is a lucky little girl, too, because she has lots of siblings to play with. They are the fur kind, and by the looks of things, they are super excited to have her join their pack. I just know they will be protective and loving toward their baby sister. And Mom and Dad will make sure they're one big happy family.

The deck is finished and, because today has been a gorgeous one, we opened the patio doors and windows and let the cats explore. It's been awhile since they were allowed out, so they were super excited.

 

I was afraid someone was going into the pool during a game of Tag. Dash and Boo! are pretending to find live things - trust me there are none. At one point, Finn did a crab walk which cracked me up. I thought there was something wrong with him as I watched him run sideways across the deck. 

 

 

 

 

 

Andy made an interesting observation this morning. He was watching Boo! give me lots of kisses and hugs and he said, "Look at her trying to curry favor. She thinks you won't get mad at her now, when she does something bad!" At that moment, Dash came over and looked at Boo! with a sideways glance. Andy said, "He's thinking, 'You're not falling for this (bleep) are you?' "

 

Well, I don't care why Boo! loves me - all I know is she does and I will take as much as she gives. I have to say, it does soften the blow a bit when she gets into trouble.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5699999999999999999999999999999bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbh

Like I said - all of the cats were on the porch - that was until I decided to open the window in front of my desk. Before I got it the whole way open, Finn appeared out of nowhere and stepped on my keyboard. I left the evidence.

How do they know what I'm going to do - sometimes before I know myself? They're multiplying, too. There are now three cats pushing each other out of the way so they can get the best seat on the window sill. The front of the house is so much more interesting than the back, don't you know...

 

 

 

 

 

 

One final note - today is the birthday of a very dear friend. He has talked me off the ledge a few times over the past twenty five years. And, he is the one who pretty much insists I see life as one long, hilarious journey - instead of a dark and stormy road. Everyone needs a friend like that...

 

 



Day Three Hundred Fifty One

Tchotchkes, Toys and Tums

I did it to myself. I brought home new cat attractors. Notice I didn't write "toys" - this is because, for every actual thing designed for cats, there is something I do not want them to mess with, which I knew, in fact, they would. Therefore, I tried to distract them from the inevitable by bringing in something for them.

What is the old lady going on about? Is she having a stroke?

I'm fine. Just going round about to get to my point which is, if you don't want cats or small children to play with your stuff, buy them a toy of their own. I'm pretty sure that's the philosophy behind the Happy Meal, kiddie pools and everything Hello Kitty.

When the new fireplace was installed, we emptied the shelves around it. Either I can't remember what was there, or I can't remember where I put what was there. In either case, the shelves have remained empty. Nature and I abhor a vacuum, so I went shopping for things to fill the voids.

I am partial to Home Goods, glass and glass doodads found at Home Goods. There is something about colored glass pieces - I am drawn to them like a moth to a flame. And Home Goods is the place to find them. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that most of the pieces I buy at Home Goods cost under $20!

I know. I know. Why on Earth would I bring more glass into a home where two Abys live?  Well, I'll tell you why. I buy large, heavy pieces, thinking they can't be knocked over. It has worked so far.

Then, I decided to push the stupid envelope. There is a shelf waaay up high which looks so forlorn empty. I found two small glass vases and a glass fish.

Now, let me pause here - I am not into beach décor. No sea shells or rope things for this gal. But this glass fish was so pretty and in my new favorite color -  I had to get it.

 

I was so proud of myself when I put all the pieces on the shelves and, to me, they looked great. And I was sure nobody could reach the glass fish so high on the top shelf. I can't reach it without a ladder. I'm actually getting dumber as I age...

So, imagine my dismay last night, when I saw a tiny cat walking across the mantel shelf. She (do I really need to say whom?) knew that fish was up there and she waited until she thought we were distracted to try to maneuver her way up. She was calculating her next move when I caught her and she quickly jumped down, to plot her next move. 
Nothing escapes an Aby! Let's see how long that fish lasts...

So, back to my original point, I thought I was so smart when I picked up a few new cat cubes. For those unfamiliar with them, I will provide a picture which is far superior to my descriptions this morning. The cubes are made from nylon and they crinkle. All morning I have been hearing strange noises; forgetting the cubes have been added to the background noise.

But I kept hearing something different - sort of a scratching sound. I went around to investigate and this is what my sleuthing uncovered:

Fancy - sound asleep on my desk



Rooney - sound asleep on the couch

Jack - sound asleep on the other couch

Three Rags - sound asleep on the dining room table

Dash - staring at the hutch

Through the process of elimination, I had no other choice but to assume Boo! was the culprit. Sure enough, I found her on the credenza, silently staring into the aquarium.

The noise I was hearing was not Miss Boo! scratching on the outside of the glass. No, it was Copper scratching from the inside; desperately trying to get as far away from his tormenter as possible. I had no choice but to put an end to the "viewing" by enlisting the aid of my trusty can. Ssscat that is. It is activated and doing its job. Well, that is, if its "job" is scaring the bejesus out of me as I walk by, forgetting it's there...