Andy and I are rapidly losing some of our most critical faculties. Like the ability to hear and see. Watching television has become an exercise in patience for both of us. To please him, I have to put up with closed captioning. To please me, he has to watch without it. The not-so-happy medium is to watch with the volume so high the neighbors can hear it.
As for me - well the eyesight is going. This morning, on the way to the airport, I saw a sign that was confusing. To me, it read, "Loose juice." What it actually said was, "Look Twice..." When we got to the airport, we almost broke out into a Punch and Judy routine (for you young'uns - they were puppets who fought constantly and beat each other with various household objects.) Why? Because he couldn't see the sign for USAir and didn't believe me when I told him I had. I mean, can you blame him? "Loose juice..."
So, it's probably a good thing the fur kids communicate in more physical ways. Take Eli (please!) this morning. He was so needy, he practically suffocated me by squeezing my neck and pressing on my face. WTH? Fancy gets my attention - and will someday have to live without me after he kills me - by weaving in and out between my legs when I'm trying to walk. Jack has gotten so fed up with trying to get us up to let him out - he just opens the door and lets himself out.
Rooney keeps Andy awake while we're watching Television by smacking him in the face with various toys. Let me pause for a moment and paint you a visual. Rooney has so many toys, we had to buy a bin to store them. She has her very first toy - a bear - that she likes to carry around with her. She sucks on it like a puppy would. Despite being washed repeatedly, it has four years of dog gack on it and is nasty. That is the first to get pushed into his face while he's napping.
Not one creature in this house comes when you call, however. Andy gets a pass because, he can be looking right at me and, unless I hold up a sign, he has no idea what I'm saying. Cats only come when you don't want them to. Jack waits until the very moment when he thinks you're about to explode, then he comes running. Rooney? Pfft She becomes stone cold deaf and avoids eye contact. If you're in a hurry, you have to get her leash and drag her in.
This is precisely why we had one; at the most two; okay, maybe three dogs at a time when the kids were little. I was working full time and had nothing left for a full menagerie. They're a full time job. I just can't use that as an answer when the doctor asks me if I'm getting any exercise. Believe me, I've tried.
Rooney and her smelly, old bear |
Daddy, I brought you another toy |
Naptime with her duck |
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