Maybe it's because I'm getting up in years, or just have a macabre sense of humor, but I think about my death a lot. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid to die. I think it will be an adventure. I just wonder sometimes how it will happen. I have imagined anything from my head exploding because my husband has asked me for the millionth time where something is that is right in front of him - or Fancy will twine through my legs one last time and I will go hurtling through a window - or I will die trying to save a lizard from a cat.
Technically, they are Bahaman Anoles. I don't like the word, "anole," so I will call them lizards. When we moved to Florida in 1985, they scared the you-know-what out of me. Like Palmetto bugs (roaches on steroids) and fleas, these creatures were foreign to me. They just don't exist in PA. I was sure they would bite and who knew what diseases they carried! It took awhile for me to realize they were harmless and, in fact, fed on some of the bugs that drove me crazy like fleas and mosquitoes. I once worked with a native Floridian who told me, when she was in high school, girls would catch them and get them to clamp onto their ears and wear them like earrings. Ok. Well, I haven't gone that far. I guess there wasn't much to do in Orlando before Disney and Universal...
At some point I started to notice their life cycle. They hatch from eggs, a little bigger than a Tic Tac. The babies are about a half inch long with big heads and large eyes, like all babies, and are adorable! As they age, if they haven't gone tailless from escaping a predator, they get to be about six inches long. The males will put up a fight, too. They bob their heads and expand their dewlap, which looks like a fan under their neck and can be quite colorful. Despite all the bravado, they are still no match for a determined cat. During their "hatching" season - there are so many in our pool area, the cats aren't allowed to go out there. I'm the one who gets to play with them! Of course, I don't torture and dismember them - I just hold them for awhile then release them.
Anyway, the cats love to hunt for lizards. As soon as I let them out in the morning, they go on the hunt. Of all the cats, Finn is the most determined hunter. Indoors, Finn is calm and sweet. Outside, he becomes a tiger on the prowl. No moving thing is safe from Finn Vicious. When all else fails, he'll find a soggy palm frond and pretend it's a snake. The first one he deposited on the porch sure looked like a snake to me. After I stopped screaming and my heart rate returned to normal, I took a closer look and was relieved to discover it was just a harmless piece of wet foliage. On the other end of the spectrum is Fancy, the least interested in catching a lizard. Remember, he had his fill of catching stuff from bugs and lizards to actual snakes. While Finn is freaking out trying to catch a lizard, Fancy is usually looking at him like, "Dude. Calm down. You know she's going to be pissed, right? Whatever. Knock yourself out." Eli and Chance can take it or leave it. If a lizard is right in front of him, daring him, Eli will put forth the effort. Otherwise, he just likes to nap in the sun. Chance hasn't quite figured out what's happening. He will watch Finn Vicious with a quizzical look. I think he's more entertained by his brother than any prey.
I keep a watchful eye on them while they're outside. I've learned that, as soon as my back is turned, sure enough, somebody falls into the pool or they catch a lizard - or both simultaneously. Many a day finds me chasing a cat, with some part of a lizard hanging from its mouth, around the pool, dodging spider webs. The other day, in a proactive measure, I tried to catch a young lizard before one of the cats did. It was fast. Too fast for me. It decided to "hide" in the weed-filled rocks under the bay window. I was down on my hands and knees (^$*#$!) trying to pick it up without smooshing it. It kept escaping - toward Finn who was watching the whole thing like it was a Fast and Furious pic. I was hot, my knees were screaming, but I was determined to save this life. I finally caught it then deposited him in the yard with a warning to stay on that side of the screen.
I am just now recovering from another episode of "Cat v Lizard." No sooner had I let everybody out when all heck broke loose. Out of the center of action marched Finn Vicious, head held high, his conquest dangling from his mouth with its little legs flailing around. I let out an expletive, then went on the chase. There we were, Finn Vicious, now the prey with me as the predator, running around the pool. I was trying not to fall into the pool while circumventing potted plants and spider webs. I finally caught up to him and shook the poor creature loose from his jaws. Stupid me didn't have a real plan, like doing it somewhere so the creature had a place to escape. Fancy and Eli, who were watching the whole thing then decided this was too easy. They started chasing the now free lizard who, for all intents and purposes, should have died from a tiny coronary. I tried to catch him, but he went between my legs and into the pool. Finn Vicious turns chicken when it comes to water, so he didn't follow. As I went to retrieve the pool skimmer to pluck out the victim, I noticed several lizard carcasses. I must have been distracted lately, or they're getting really good at hiding the dirty deed from me.
So, one day, the coroner's report will read: "Victim drowned when she fell into the pool after having a heart attack while chasing a cat. Cat fine."
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| Who would ever suspect this sweet baby turns into a vicious lizard killer! |
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| Finn in front of Finn |
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