Day One Hundred Ninety Seven

Toxins, Toxins, Everywhere Toxins!

 

That's it! We have to move. What started out as a beautiful day in the neighborhood, took a twist into another day in homeowner hell. The cats were enjoying the outdoors when I noticed Fancy was back inside, clearly agitated. I thought he and another cat were having a difference of opinion. He ran into the house like he was being chased; growling; pupils dilated; staring out the window like there was a demon out there. He was correct in his assumption.

 

Still on alert and growling -
twenty minutes later.

When I went out to see what was going on, I was hit with the strong smell of chlorine. I looked up to see a guy standing on our neighbor's roof, spraying it with chlorine. The smell was so strong I choked. My nose is still burning and I can actually taste the chlorine - thirty minutes later.

Ordering one of these on
Amazon today...

 

It did not occur to me to send the cats out today wearing gas masks. I wish I had. Clearly, others have already had the idea...

 

 

Of course, there was Dash, standing on a chair trying to get the best view. Finn was under the chair. Chance was on the porch. Eli had followed Fancy in but had no idea why. I corralled everybody and brought them inside.

 

There are natural things to use that don't kill plants and animals, but of course we use the most toxic. Jokes on them. I had a house inspector tell me all chlorine does is change the color of the mold and mildew! Better to use peroxide or something that actually kills the mold. I guess if you have a roof cleaning company it doesn't really profit to actually get rid of the problem - white washing it so you'll get repeat business better serves your bottom line.

Poor bees don't stand a chance.

 

All I know is I am tired of being adversely affected by the pollution my neighbors create - noise, environmental, visual, etc. It's like living under a dome where everything is pristine - but made of plastic! Give me an island which can only be accessed by boat.

PS - One thing we learned from this experience is Fancy makes a better guard than either of the Bullmastiffs. While they were begging Dad for some of his breakfast - oblivious to the goings on outside - Fancy was on the job, alerting us to a real danger - not a Chihuahua harmlessly passing by or a leaf blowing in the wind.

Day One Hundred Ninety Six

Second Fiddle

 

Poor Rooney. Her Dad's away and she is lost. Now, I am second in command here (some would say, Commandant) but she does not turn to me in her hour of need. I guess I am kinda "no nonsense." With everything going on here, I have to be.

Rooney clearly prefers guys. Specifically, Jack. He is ambivalent about this honor. As she does with her Dad, Rooney utilizes all sorts of tricks to get Jack's attention. There is the paw on the head move, the toy in the face ploy, and the showering with kisses maneuver. One or a combination of all three usually gets the desired result. Poor Jack can be sound asleep on the couch, dreaming of Snausages, and Rooney will pester him until he acknowledges her and gives her the attention she craves.

Jack. Jack! Wake up!
Pay attention to me!

What's wrong? This
better be good...

I miss Daddy.

I know, but he'll be back.

I love you, Jack.

Now, Jack would never put up with anybody else annoying him the way she does. For example, if Dash approached a sleeping Jack and dared to put a paw on his face, Jack would rise up like a dragon awakened from a one hundred year spell. It took Dash a few tries to get that concept. But, Miss Rooney can plunk down a huge paw on a sleeping Jack and drag it down his face and all Jack does is open an eye and look at her. She is a pest, but she is his pest. He loves her.

Don't get me wrong - she won't drop Jack like a bad habit when her Dad returns. No, our girl likes attention from both guys. She is the canine version of a hussy.


Miss Rooney getting attention
from her two favorite guys.
 

I just had to post this picture, too. Little Man
was draped across the back of my chair
and fell asleep with me holding his head.

Day One Hundred Ninety Five

Global Warming? - No, Florida!

I probably shouldn't be writing just now. I have been outside doing chores and I feel like Frosty the Snowperson at the beach - with nothing left but a carrot, two lumps of coal and a hat in a puddle of water. If weight came off in sweat, I would be a stick. It is like 95 degrees! Why, Lord, Why??? By my calculations, it is November, right? It is snowing in other parts of the country. Look, I'm not asking for much - just like a ten degree drop. Is that too much to ask?

Okay. That's enough of that. So, I was curious as to why my litter box trained rabbit did not need her litter box changed. I got worried that all the food she consumed was not coming out and I would wake up one day to rabbit pieces blown all over the cage. That was a wasted worry because I found a HUGE pile of bunny balls in a hidden corner of the cage - not in the box. I guess she decided enough was enough. Either the litter doesn't meet with her approval or the box was in the wrong place. I just wish I had discovered it sooner.

By the time I realized what had been going on, the pile was large enough to actually bury her under it. Damn. And it was positioned in such a way I had no choice but to move the whole cage. This is not a small rabbit hutch. It is a two story thing which weighs a ton. Now, I'm not completely stupid, so I put casters under the legs. It's still a pain to move though, and freaks Roxy out every time.

I had to get down on my knees and sort of climb into the cage to reach the back where the mound was - all moldy and toxic. Then I pulled out the tray under the cage and scooped up as much as I could with a dust pan. Cleaning up after a rabbit is fun because the balls tend to do what balls do - they roll.

Of course, who would discover the cage door was open? None other than Mr. Dash. No sooner did I turn my back to get the vacuum cleaner, when he got curious and climbed into the cage! Fortunately, Roxy had already gone upstairs to hide in her bedroom. Dash has been curious about this funny looking "cat" for awhile. I know he just wants to play and probably can't figure out why she has to stay in a "box."

Okay, cat - Tell me where
you got those ears!?

I shooed him out and turned on the vacuum - the quickest means to get a cat out from under your feet.

By the time I finished scooping, sweeping, washing, moving, etc., I was drenched. I am not pleasant when I get over heated. It makes me extremely grumpy. The kids know this and steer clear. I know there are many problems facing the population of planet Earth but, to me, if Florida gets any hotter, I'm moving to the North Pole.



So long, Florida!
Hello, North Pole!

Day One Hundred Ninety Four

The New Bed

Jack and Rooney go through a lot of beds. We have tried everything from air mattresses to extra large dog beds and we've spent a small fortune in the process. I've read a lot about a certain dog bed (which shall remain nameless,) specifically designed for giant breeds. Everything about this bed is over the top - the ads, the claims and the price. After the air mattress sprung a leak, I decided to shop for a replacement bed and thought, why not go ahead and order one of the fancy schmanzy, super duper, last thing a dog will ever want to sleep in again, beds. So I did.

Now, I ordered the extra large instead of the giant size because I really didn't want it to take up as much space as a car in the bedroom. I was expecting a very large box to arrive, so when a medium sized box showed up on the front porch, I was confused. I thought maybe they only sent half of the bed with the rest coming later. I opened the box to find yet another box. I was not in the mood for something like Russian nesting dolls - and figured if there was a third box, the whole thing was going back. There was not.

Curiosity almost got the cats encased in plastic wrap!

The bed was encased in plastic wrap - lots of plastic wrap. And it was vacuum sealed. The extra large bed was condensed to a tiny, tight bundle. I started unraveling it. There was enough plastic wrap to get me through the holidays. I should have saved it. When I finally got to the actual bed, I cut the last of the bindings and it went ka-poosh! And there was the bed! Scared the bejesus out of the cats...

Jack was watching me the whole time, from the couch, with a look that said, "This is another bed isn't it? And you expect me to sleep on it, right? You know I like the couch. Why do you even bother?"  I finally coaxed him on to it. He laid down - backwards - with his butt where his head should be. He was humoring me. But the look on his face was of complete disgust.

He stayed there until Dash decided to attack his tail. Now, this dog acts like getting off the couch to go outside is a major ordeal. When he felt Dash grab his tail, he jumped up and spun around like a Cirque performer! My eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Dash was quicker and ran away before he had to experience the wrath of Jack.

Jack was done with the bed and everything else. Rooney laid down on it for awhile, but I noticed it was untouched last night in the bedroom. Nobody seems to like the fancy schmancy, super duper, last dog bed you will ever have to pay through the nose for again. Damn. I can't return it because I will never be able to get it back in the box!  Wow - they got me good....

I told you -
the couch is just fine.

Day One Hundred Ninety Three

Why Can't Nature be Natural?

I was looking forward to a quiet day, after the weekend festivities. HA! Jokes on me. Because I live in a controlled environment, with an HOA, and totally anal neighbors, there is always something buzzing, whirring, whooshing, grinding, tapping, or banging. I can't even remember what a bird sounds like! Grass isn't allowed to grow higher than 2 inches; trees and bushes must be trimmed, not resembling actual trees or bushes; and mildew must be eradicated! I annoy them constantly by letting nature take its course.

I prefer a tree to look like a tree, and God help me, what is up with bushes shaped like Chia Pets?? For almost thirty years, the people down the street have been waiting for life size topiaries of Red Riding Hood with a Wolf chasing her to sprout greenery. I'm serious. They act like a little bit of mildew on the driveway is going to bring about the Apocalypse, but don't seem to mind that for three decades, the Wolf has been chasing Red - with nary a leaf on either of them. I'm all about giving things a chance - but come on. Let Red and the Wolf die already...

To get back at "them," I have inflatable decorations for every occasion. I have already posted Halloween pictures. As soon as the giant cat, witch and pumpkin came down, they were replaced by a huge seated turkey and a turkey windsock. Next comes a ten foot Santa Claus. Then the Easter Bunny and so on and so forth. If I wasn't mad at the Steelers, there would be a twenty foot air blown football player crouching there now as well. I'm sure they hate me. I do not care. I was here first....

The Noise Du Jour would be the two giant tree trimming trucks parked across the street turning perfectly nice trees into huge stalks of broccoli. I can't adequately describe the sound. Imagine a house-sized blender chopping up car sized ice cubes. Yea, that's about it.

I am wearing my hot pink headphones, listening to 70's rock, but the din is still getting through. (As an aside, no matter how cool I feel, there is something so wrong about an aging Hippie, with a bad back and lame arm gettin' down - playing air guitar and drumming the kitchen table. Where's my Ibuprofen...) The only good thing is it's providing entertainment for my four legged kids. Jack just got up and left cause my singing is bothering him I guess.

Speaking of the kids, they've been particularly funny since Halloween. Funny as in odd, not haha. Dash has been coming up to me in various places and tapping me on the arm or leg for attention. It's adorable. Last night, while I was sitting in my comfy chair watching TV, I felt somebody tap me on the shoulder. I looked up and there he was, staring at me. Eventually, he climbed down to my lap for a cuddle. He melts my heart.

No more pictures!

Okay, just one more.
Is this my good side?

I just saw three Rags in a pile on the dining room table.

Gives new meaning to the
expression, "a rag pile"

 

Fancy was curled on my lap this morning, joining me in one of our chats.

All worn out from talking

Rooney is avoiding me. She always does that on Mondays. I guess she blames me for her Dad leaving for work. She stood in the doorway this morning, with a toy in her mouth, watching him walk away. Her glance toward me said, "There he goes again - leaving us. It's all your fault, cause you're so mean." Oh well.

Jack's new bed just arrived. It's one of those therapeutic beds big dogs are supposed to love. I threw my back out just getting the thing out of the box and unwrapped! Well, Jack wasn't impressed, but Rooney likes it. I may have gotten back into her good graces. Fingers crossed.

"What is this Mum?"
There is supposed to be an XL bed in there.

Oooh scary!

Is this another one of your bright ideas?
I can tell you right now I'm not gonna like it.
I'm fine right here on the couch.

Rooney likes it. But then,
she'll sleep anywhere..

She can have it. I like the couch just fine.

Day One Hundred Ninety Two

Boo!

Yes, I know Halloween is over. That title is to introduce the newest member of the Matchett Zoo - (drum roll...) -  "Boo!"



Boo

She isn't actually here yet, but in a few short weeks, she will join us. The boys don't know what they're in for! I have a feeling she is going to turn the whole house on its collective ear! I know one little guy who is going to be happy to finally have a compatriot - or should I say, partner in crime?!

 

Sitting on the end of my chair and would not turn around!
No problem! He's beautiful from any angle!

I do want to say Halloween 2015 went down on record as the best ever! The whole clan was here - Grands and Grands of the heart (4 total; ages 3,5,6 and 9); son and his significant other; daughter and hers. While there is no shortage of drama when we all get together, it is happy drama - excitement, energy, laughs and more laughs. As Pap put it, when the crew gets together, it's in constant motion!

 

"Wednesday Addams" getting makeup applied
by "Morticia" - a professional makeup artist!

Even Gigi was assigned a task - but she got
more nail polish on herself than on Wednesday!

This little Zombie had help with his makeup AND
a "beating heart" courtesy of "Uncle Gomez"

 

To spare everyone Jack's inquisitive nature - about everything - as well as Jack's and Rooney's nerves, J and R were put in the bedroom. Good thing because we had the entire Addams Family, a zombie, a Ghostbuster, Spiderman, Chewbacca and a 6'4" skeleton walking around! Gigi was doing her best imitation of Quasimodo when her back decided to go kaput! And Pap - well Pap is the overseer of all cooking, safety and other concerns.

 

"Chewie, Spidey and a Ghostbuster!"

 

The Addams Family

"Wednesday"

"Morticia and Gomez"

Rock Star Skeleton 

Before everyone arrived, I was able to corral three of the five cats and put them in the front bedroom. Chance was happy being outside and Fancy - well - he is in a league of his own. I know he won't bolt out a door, and even if he did, he knows how to get back here. (Remember that thought...)

When folks started to arrive - and I mean - they all make a grand entrance! - Fancy decided to join Chance outside. At some point I asked my granddaughter to go check on the two of them. A few minutes later, she came in to tell me Chance was fine but she couldn't find Fancy. My daughter then told me she had just seen him running through the house. I went on the search, since I know his hiding places. He wasn't in any of them.

I looked everywhere and, forgetting my notion he wouldn't leave the house, became increasingly nervous. I even went outside to call his name, which is something I haven't done in ages. All I could think of was - here we were - Halloween -  and I've been preaching to everyone to take care of their black cats and where was mine - God knows?!

When I reached the point of panic, I looked down, and there he was, under the dining room table, looking up at me like, "What is your problem? I needed some quiet time - and by the way - you do NOT know all of my hiding places!" I literally dropped to my knees in front of him in relief and gasped, "Where were you? I was so scared! I was ready to call 911!"

Now, watching me the whole time, was my five year old "grand of the heart." When he heard me say to Fancy I was about ready to call 911, he started laughing and ran to tell everybody - "Gigi said she was going to call 911 - for a cat!!!" He thought that was the most hilarious thing a person could say. I did not care - I had all my cats safe and sound - and Halloween was spared a disaster!

Honestly, you need to calm down...