There is a small (anything less than one hundred pounds is considered "small" to me) dog yapping nearby. I want to rip my ears off. We have had yappers living here in the past - several of them to be precise. We are now enjoying barkless dogs. No, we didn't have their "bark" removed - as in de-barking - they just don't.
Don't get me wrong. Bullmastiffs make lots of sounds: snoring, snorting, huffing, woofing, farting, mummering - but, thankfully, yapping isn't one of them. Yapping to me is the equivalent of nails on a blackboard or a baby's cry. After a few minutes, it loses its appeal.
I am a quiet-loving person. My children are not. For twenty plus years we lived with constant noise. Our son could have been a Foley artist. In case you are unfamiliar with that profession, they are folks whose talent in life is to make sound effects - with any and every thing.
He made noise constantly - awake and asleep. Even while he ate, he hummed approval throughout the meal. I remember eating out with friends once, and someone turned to me and said, "Do you hear that?" I gave a puzzled look and asked, "What?" Apparently I had blocked it out the way one does white noise.
Our daughter - sweet, beautiful, peace loving, sprite of the planet - was into Pantera. In case you are not with it - they are a heavy metal band - whose "music" sounds like the soundtrack to Dante's Seventh Circle of Hell. It made no sense because, if you look at her life, the sounds surrounding her should be harps and angelic voices raised in song. Go figure.
Even my husband is a mystery to me. He loves music. When we first met, he would give me pop-quizzes on soundtracks and artists - yea - romantic, right? Anyway, he claims to listen to Classic Rock. However, every single time I get into his car and forget to brace myself - I am nearly blown through the moon roof by Gansta Rap on full volume!!!!
When he first got his vehicle, and I was unfamiliar with the controls, I drove it up over a curb and almost crashed into the guardhouse as I tried desperately to find the volume control. I was also sheepishly trying to mime to bystanders through the closed window that I was not responsible for the cacophony coming from the bowels of the car. Now, I have to repeat absolutely everything I say to him but he refuses to acknowledge he has gone deaf from playing music at full volume for 50+ years!
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| I am ordering this for his car... |
I prefer silence - or music from the 70's - like James Taylor, Leonard Cohen, CSNY, etc. I also like mountain music and went through a hammered dulcimer phase. Okay, so occasionally I love me some Slip Knot. But, silence is best.
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| And if you believe I listen to this, I have some Florida swampland to sell... |
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| Not a peep! |
Slowly cruising up the street was a huge truck with a guy following behind, distributing new garbage cans in the neighborhood. The "boom" occurred each time the guy pulled an industrial sized can from the truck and let it drop to the ground. Each home received two of these cans. There are 90 homes in our development which means there were 180 ka-booms. I counted.
Oh, and the "kid" joining me at the window was not one of my giant watch dogs. They were sound asleep. No, it was a cat. No sound was made.
Tomorrow I will write about how the possible addition of drones to the parcel delivery system in this country will quite possibly get me to rethink my position on the banning of assault weapons. Between lawn mowers, leaf blowers, power washers, trucks, cars, dogs - on the ground - I can promise you, if there are buzzing things flying around in the sky, I will take matters into my own hands.
Anybody know where I can get a machine gun? Just kidding. No, seriously - how about a surface to air missile?? Ha ha ha - little old lady humor here! psst - if you have a lead, call me...
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