Been There, Done That - and That - and That
It's been one of those mornings. I have started and stopped this post several times because everybody is needy for some reason. Eli can't decide if he wants in or out. Jack either. Fancy just alerted me there was a catch. Sure enough, Dash was proudly running around with a big old tailless lizard in his mouth. I say "old" because you had to have been around before to have your tail pulled off - making you also stupid for coming back for more. I'm like that. If I was a lizard I would definitely be one-eyed and tailless.
Like the meany I am, I made Dash give up his quarry. Explaining to a cat the hazards of ingesting a reptile is pointless. Dogs are no better. No matter how many times the Frenchies would end up frothing at the mouth from the secretions of a toad, they still chased them with the end result being they had to have their mouths quickly and thoroughly washed out. I'm like that, too. If I was a dog, I would constantly have porcupine quills stuck in my face or toad toxin making me froth at the mouth. Like a dog, I never learned to concede to the hazards in life.
Everybody seems to be quiet all of a sudden. That makes me even more nervous. I did learn that lesson from being a parent. My kids were noise machines, so when it got real quiet, I got suspicious. Sure enough, upon investigation, it was usually something involving a trip to the emergency room or super glue.
I remember one time when my son was about two. It got real quiet and all I heard with my Mother Ears was a tiny pop. Then a yelp. He had, for some mysterious reason, bitten into one of those blown glass Christmas tree ornaments. Being blown glass under pressure it shattered - straight into his face. All I remember is a frantic ride to the emergency room where he emerged with a big old eye patch and a story to tell for many years. I was like that, too. I can't tell you how many times as a kid, I stuck my finger into a light socket, despite my parent's warnings. It felt awful but I did it over and over until I was convinced they were not lying to me.
So, I guess the point of today's blog is that we're all the same - dogs, cats, kids, old ladies. We never learn - toads are toxic and taste awful, lizards are poisonous, electric current shocks, super glue - well - that shit's just awful. And, as an old lady, I am still learning life's lessons. Some I will never get. Best thing to do I guess is just sit in the corner and contemplate your navel.
It's been one of those mornings. I have started and stopped this post several times because everybody is needy for some reason. Eli can't decide if he wants in or out. Jack either. Fancy just alerted me there was a catch. Sure enough, Dash was proudly running around with a big old tailless lizard in his mouth. I say "old" because you had to have been around before to have your tail pulled off - making you also stupid for coming back for more. I'm like that. If I was a lizard I would definitely be one-eyed and tailless.
Like the meany I am, I made Dash give up his quarry. Explaining to a cat the hazards of ingesting a reptile is pointless. Dogs are no better. No matter how many times the Frenchies would end up frothing at the mouth from the secretions of a toad, they still chased them with the end result being they had to have their mouths quickly and thoroughly washed out. I'm like that, too. If I was a dog, I would constantly have porcupine quills stuck in my face or toad toxin making me froth at the mouth. Like a dog, I never learned to concede to the hazards in life.
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| Yup. Me as a dog... |
Everybody seems to be quiet all of a sudden. That makes me even more nervous. I did learn that lesson from being a parent. My kids were noise machines, so when it got real quiet, I got suspicious. Sure enough, upon investigation, it was usually something involving a trip to the emergency room or super glue.
I remember one time when my son was about two. It got real quiet and all I heard with my Mother Ears was a tiny pop. Then a yelp. He had, for some mysterious reason, bitten into one of those blown glass Christmas tree ornaments. Being blown glass under pressure it shattered - straight into his face. All I remember is a frantic ride to the emergency room where he emerged with a big old eye patch and a story to tell for many years. I was like that, too. I can't tell you how many times as a kid, I stuck my finger into a light socket, despite my parent's warnings. It felt awful but I did it over and over until I was convinced they were not lying to me.
So, I guess the point of today's blog is that we're all the same - dogs, cats, kids, old ladies. We never learn - toads are toxic and taste awful, lizards are poisonous, electric current shocks, super glue - well - that shit's just awful. And, as an old lady, I am still learning life's lessons. Some I will never get. Best thing to do I guess is just sit in the corner and contemplate your navel.
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