So, remember the saga of the dog bed? Well, believe it or not, I haven't returned the smaller (as in extra large) one. They made it sound so easy - all you have to do is put it in a trash bag and use a vacuum cleaner to suck out the air. Easy Peasy. I'm gonna take a guess here and say they probably get few returns. Only those purchased by one of the Avengers.
 |
| Trying to get this.. |
 |
| back to this... |
But, hey, I'm game, so I did what they instructed. First I wrestled the bed in half. Then I wrestled it into a plastic bag. Then I wrestled with the vacuum that did what vacuums do. It did not read the instructions, so it sucked up the bag instead of the air in the bag. I could not blame the vacuum cleaner. It may be a Dyson, but it can't read, (even though that weird guy in the commercials would like for you to believe they can.)
 |
| I do not understand what you want from me! |
So, there I was, sitting on the folded bed to keep it from unfolding. Oh, and did I mention the cats wanted to help? Yep, all six were gathered around to join in the fun. Now, I should have done this in a cat free zone, but I'm stupid, so I didn't. And, I brought in the ginormous box they had been playing fort in for about a week. You know, their box. All I can say is, Amazon might end up with a surprise inside the box. I tried to count them, but with six, it's a lot like Whack-A-Mole.
 |
| You got this big box for us?! |
First, Eli went into the box, but he ran back out when I started my hissy fit. Being the oldest, he is also the most familiar with the properties of a hissy fit. As I struggled with the bed and the uncooperative box flaps, I noticed waaay back in the darkened space, two blue eyes blinking at me. Crap. There was no way I could sit on the bed (which was in a plastic bag, remember, so I kept sliding around like I was trying to ride a mechanical bull - drunk,) hold the flaps open AND remove a cat from the back of the damn box. I couldn't even tip the box. So, I did what I do best - I threw a huge hissy fit.
I shook the heavy box as best I could while emitting sounds some of the cats have never heard before. It felt great to me - but scared the snot out of Finn or Chance - all I could see was a white blur as whomever it was flew out of the box to safety. By this time, the three smartest cats in the house - Fancy, Dash and Boo! - were at a safe distance; far away from the crazy lady.
I managed to shove the bed into the giant box (hopefully sans cat) then proceeded to cut off the flaps to make it a shorter box. Now, I said Abys are smart, but they're also curious. It was all too much for Dash. He had to see what I was doing. Now, I was wielding an exacto knife and did not realize he was on top of the box, so I guess we're all glad he still has a tail. I was not able to take a selfie while I was wrestling with the box, but I did get some shots of Dash "helping" me.
After I got the flaps cut down, I attempted to tape the box shut. Now, we have some industrial strength packing tape, but it. would. not. stick. to. the. box. I'm serious. Strip after strip went on then plurped up. I was going mad by then. I blame Florida. Nothing sticks, sets, dries or holds up in this damn place. Sorry. I'm just in a really bad mood.
Next up: getting an unwieldy box with tape curls all over it, into my little car. Thank God it's a convertible!
No comments:
Post a Comment