Day Two Hundred Twenty Nine

Do You Get Any Exercise, Mrs. Matchett?

There is a lot of calamity going on here on a daily basis. I'm okay with that. Like I've said before, without eight hungry mouths to feed, I doubt I would get out of bed each day. They get me up and moving - and moving - and moving...
Take yesterday, for example. I wrote about this on Facebook but it's also blog-worthy.

Cats are a lot like little children. Abys are a lot like little children with ADD. All cats are curious. I didn't make that up - remember the old saying about cats and curiosity. Anyway, we have two spare bedrooms that are off limits to children and cats - and anyone who values their life. It is impossible to navigate those rooms because of all the hazards one faces. So, we try very hard to keep cats, kids and people with Osteoporosis out.

They are also the depository and repository for Christmas/Easter/ Birthday gifts and all things unwanted. Whenever the kids are here, they are immediately drawn to closed doors. I don't know what they think we have in there, but they want it. One of these days I may hire a clown to stand in one of the rooms and scare the crap out of a too curious kid. Just kidding...No, I'm not.

Didn't the old lady tell you to
stay out of this room?

I definitely don't want the cats in there, especially Boo! who eats just about anything. I don't know...Well, I needed to go into the middle room to shop for a lamp. (There were five in there. No, I don't collect lamps and No, we don't sit in the dark.)  As soon as my hand turned the door knob, cats came flying out of nowhere! One had even been outside! All six pushed past me in a stampede of curiosity. It was like they had been waiting for this moment for a very long time.

Of course I tripped and would have fallen had it not been for the king size bed taking up most of the space. It was also the first place under which most of them dove for cover. Oh, some went for the closet; others under the maze of Christmas presents and Easter decorations. All six.

I was kinda busy - with Christmas coming and all - so I was not in a frame of mind to play games. Of course, it turned into a real life game of Whack-A-Mole or in this case "Whack-A-Cat" which I sorely wanted to do. I knew I had to get creative. The thing is, each cat has a different definition as to what is beguiling enough to get them to change course. I tried treats first.

Now Finn is the last cat to be enticed by treats. However, he was the only one to come out. I quickly shut the door, leaving five in the room. I went to get a feather toy and in the few seconds it took me to return to the closed door, I could hear them banging on it. They all were in a panic that I shut them in! So, they did the logical thing - tried to dig their way out - as in pull the carpet back.

I tried to open the door, but it was blocked by the jammed up carpeting. By this time I was sweating and kind of dizzy. This is what happens when one is sick and should be in bed, not trying to rescue cats from a barricaded room!



Let us out!!!

I ran to get a putty knife. As I attempted to fix the carpet from under the door, Boo! saw the putty knife and thought we were playing a game - "Catch the Funny Metal Thing." Fearing I would hurt her paw (hold that thought) I stopped using the knife. In frustration I gave the door a mighty shove and got it opened enough for some of the cats to escape. You would have thought they were running from a burning building! At this point I lost count. Oh, yes, and Finn ran back in.

After a head count, I was missing two - Dash and Finn. I knew the treat trick wouldn't work again on Finn, but I definitely knew how to get Dash's attention. Of course he ran out to capture the feathers on the end of a pole. However, as I was getting him, Boo! ran back in and under the bed. She is fast and like a weasel, she contracts her body so she can escape anybody's grasp.

Four out and two in. Dash was still clutching his feathers and growling; two Rags were on the family room table, amused at me losing my mind and Fancy went off to get away from all of the craziness.

I went back in, this time using a top from a plastic bin as a barrier because by now Dash wanted back in with his sister. I found Finn resting on a coffee table. He was easy to catch. As I went to remove him from the room, Dash easily jumped over my barrier and flew back in. It was at this point I wanted to get in the car and drive till I ran out of gas.

I didn't. Instead, I took a deep steadying breath, and grabbed the feather fishing pole. Dash immediately took the bait. I had him out. Boo! was not buying into this trick, so I used my foot (my left hand was holding onto Dash's pole toy; my right on the door knob) to tap a plastic toy, hoping it would get her attention. It did for a split second. As I was feeling successful and about to shut the door, she changed her mind and decided to run back in. I was too slow, or fast, depending on how you look at it. Her little foot got caught in the closing door.

Boo! screamed bloody murder. There was nothing broken but she was convinced I had chopped off her foot. Poor Dash heard her scream and came running. She was fine but it shook the three of us. (Nobody else gave a fig.)

Forty five minutes later, I was drenched and exhausted. I forgot all about my To-do list, plopped down into my comfy chair and fell asleep. I have to laugh every time somebody asks me if I get any exercise...