Day One Hundred Twenty Two

Herding Cat

We were literally herding a cat last night, as in it took two of us and a bag of treats to corral one tiny cat back inside. Well, it started out singular cat, then quickly became plural.

It was about midnight and the dogs were getting their final potty break. For some reason, Andy has vastly underestimated Dash's speed and cunning. Now, he had just witnessed Dash deftly extracting stones from deep inside a vase (details to follow) but he still stood in the open doorway thinking he could catch him before he darted out. Foolish Human.

The words, "Watch out for Dash!" had barely escaped my lips when, like a red flash, he zoomed past Andy and was out by the pool. I ran out as well, thinking I could easily catch him - Mrs. Foolish Human. Not only is Dash fast, he's like one of those characters from the comics that can make themselves invisible. (Note to self: Great idea for a book based on a mutant cat entitled "X-Cat.")

Drat! Somebody beat me to it!

Where was I? Oh, yes, herding a cat. Andy was busy trying to get the dogs in. They were highly entertained by the cat chase and wanted to watch. Then he joined me in trying to catch Dash. While we were running back and forth in the dark, trying not to fall into the pool; lurching for Dash but coming up empty handed, Eli decided to open the door and let everybody else out. We now had all of the cats running around the pool, in the dark - as in herding cats. And we all know how that expression came to mean attempting the impossible.

Prior to this fiasco, I had been asleep in the chair. I went from REM to adrenaline rush - something that cannot be good at my age. I was dodging plants, swearing under my breath so the neighbors didn't call the police, swinging at air, stubbing my toe, stepping on God knows what and ready to just let them all stay outside all night, when I got my wits about me and went inside to get the treats.

For some reason, every carnivore in the house loves these dehydrated chicken treats. Just me thinking about giving them chicken treats brings them all running. So, I stood on the porch and shook the bag. Finn came running first, and I popped him inside through the cat door. Now, this time I made sure the door was locked from the inside! Chance and Fancy were already inside, wide-eyed, watching Mom go nuts. Dash ran over, mainly out of curiosity, and I was able to catch him while he munched on a treat. The only one left was Eli.

Eli and I have a "challenging" relationship. If I zig, he zags. We just aren't in sync. I knew I had my work cut out for me if I was going to get him in so I could sleep peacefully. He must have sensed I was in no mood (ya' think) for his usual shtick, so catching him was relatively painless. We counted cats and went to bed.

I mentioned earlier Dash extracting stones from a vase. This is a rather large vase, with a tiny neck. It is sort of squat, and has decorative stones in the bottom. Somehow (hah! - I know how - he doesn't miss a thing!) Dash discovered those shiny stones and has spent the past few days trying to get one out. His arms are very long, so reaching them wasn't the problem. He had to hook his paw around a very smooth stone to be able to pull it out through a tiny hole. He finally did it! Then he played hockey with it as I ran after him trying to get the stone before one of the dogs did. 

I have just decided Dash is the smartest creature in the house - humans included. How that tiny brain can master so many challenges and outwit everybody else is a mystery. But, I can say this with all sincerity - I wish I had ten more of him!