What a way to start a Monday morning! I was in a deep sleep, when I heard the sound of the house alarm being activated. When it is set, there is a 45 second warning alarm before the real, ear splitting thing goes off. This is to give you time to do something before your head is blown off from the real thing. Anyway, I jumped out of bed to turn it off. Then I went looking for Andy.
I called his name - no answer. Saw his car in the driveway and went out to see if he was in it. He wasn't. By now I'm starting to think this is a stupid dream. I was still in my pajamas and, if you recall the picture of my grandson when he first wakes up, you will appreciate this - we have the same hair. Mine looked like the straw end of a witch's broom that has seen better days. I ran back into the house, figuring he had to be there. He was not.
His car was still in the driveway, so I was starting to get a little worried. We watched "4400" all weekend, and this scenario was eerily similar. Had he been abducted by a future generation needing his help to save the planet? Yeah, right. That would be like abducting Pittsburgh Dad - and if you need a laugh, Google him. Anyway, I couldn't find him anywhere.
I searched the house, again, and went to the front. As I did, I saw his car pulling out of the driveway. I ran out, limping from the new cut on the bottom of my foot; yelling his name. Now, he can't hear me when I'm standing right in front of him. The first thing he does when he gets in his car is turn on the radio - loud. So, he was never going to hear me. My best shot was to get close enough to his car's backup camera, in the hopes it would alert him to a nearby object. Whatever it was, he stopped, rolled down his window and said something like, "What the hell??"
Me, "You set off the alarm."
Andy, "Oh, did I? I'm sorry. I was trying not to wake you?"
Me, "Gee thanks. Where were you? I looked everywhere!"
Andy, "Oh. I was on the side of the house turning off the sprinklers."
Me, "Well, you have a nice day." As I went limping back up the driveway.
Andy, "You, too. Hey, you can write about this in your blog!"
So I did.
Now, what does this have to with the animals? Plenty. They were as confused as I. The cats were watching me like those cats on a Meow Mix commercial staring at the red ball bouncing along to the jingle. One of them got so upset, he threw up on the dining room table. Rooney was sleeping through the whole thing but Jack was on high alert. He heard the alarm, too, and just knew he should be doing - something. Even the resident squirrels were confused; hoping my presence meant peanuts were forthcoming - which was the last thing on my mind. For all of the creatures, this was definitely way out of their wheelhouse.
I do have one tiny bit of consolation. We must provide the neighbors with quite a bit of entertainment. In this staid community, we are the only ones who do. We must seem like the Simpsons to them. Screw them if they can't take a joke.
(What? Did you think I took pictures of this mess? I'll try to remember to grab my camera the next time I am startled out of bed...)
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