Thursday, July 30, 2015

Day Ninety Eight

Send in the Clowns

I'm back from my trip down Memory Lane. A friend once told me, a visit should last no longer than three days. Well, I spent three days there and now I'm home to real life. Ahhh, it feels good to be back in my own head. As much as I'd like to have my younger body back, I'm not interested in taking back the mental mess that was the thirty-something me. The neurotic, serious, anxious self is no more. Good riddance.

So, back to reality and to my best friends. I may not be able to save all of the animals in this world from the terrible things people do to them - but I can ensure the ones in my care are loved and safe. Even on those days when I want to kill them.
 
Yesterday was one of those days. Life with Dash has settled into a routine of sorts. For example, I know that he knows when I am preparing food for myself. If I want to fix a plate of, say, turkey, cheese and olives, I must take the food into the laundry room, close the door and use the washing machine as my workspace. Standing at the kitchen counter and asking him politely to back off is not an option.

Dash! No!

Um, he took my turkey.

Apparently, Abys can't hear certain words like: "no," "off," "stop!" What they hear instead is, "Go ahead and step all over the deli turkey and take as much as you want. I don't mind." They also seem to think all food is theirs. His brothers move over and let him eat their food - which is exactly the same food that is in his bowl. He is also quick enough to grab all treats from under their noses. He looks like the Hungry Hippos game.

I'm too fast for you, old man! 

Now, Jack won't tolerate this bs. Dash finally learned that lesson. If Jack so much as changes positions on the couch and Dash is nearby, he will jump straight up in the air like he's on a trampoline and run for cover. And he won't let down his guard until he feels the danger has passed. Unlike the other cats who learned this lesson with one growl, it took two for Dash to get it. On the other hand, Dash is afraid of no cat - even bigger ones with sharp claws.


I almost let him have the run of the house the other night at bedtime. He was so cute, curled up in a bed on the dining room table. I kissed him goodnight, and told him I was going to let him stay out. He tenderly put his paw on my cheek, which I took to mean, "Thank you, mum. I'm sooo sleepy. I'll be good. I promise." Stupid Human.

 
I'm so sleepy. I'll be right here all night.
I promise.

I had only been in bed a few minutes when I heard some strange sounds. When I went to investigate, Dash was launching an all out attack on the dining room. He was ripping the plastic tablecloth to shreds and looking around like a maniac for something else to destroy. He looked like a Mogwai that had eaten after midnight and morphed into a Gremlin. I stood there for awhile in disbelief.


Was it possible he had tricked me into thinking he was going to sleep through the night?? Well, guess whose skinny butt went back into the bedroom? He didn't even put up a fuss, which pretty much signifies he knew he got busted. I was told Abys are smart, I just didn't expect him to be a member of Mensa.

H2O? This is water, right? I like water!

That little dynamo has completely changed this household. Everybody has gone from complacency to upping their game. If the other cats aren't chasing him or being chased by him, they're watching in fascination as he can make a simple thing like half of a plastic Easter egg look like a fierce creature he must conquer.

Thanks to Dash, Jack has become a lot more active. Well, he's acting like Barney Fife; always on the alert to the point of imagining danger that really doesn't exist. Rooney is getting some exercise chasing him around. She can't catch him but it would be good for her to lose a few pounds trying. Even the humans have been affected.

I realized, after a few days of trying to keep up with him, perhaps it would be a good idea to get in shape. We've both been dieting and I'm starting to get back some energy. Who knew a four pound ball of pure energy could change an entire household?




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