It's been awhile since I've done a dialogue. There has been a lot of activity lately, providing lots of material, so I'll give it a go.
To set the stage:
Fancy has been very low key lately; limping slightly; sleeping on the dining room table.
Dash has been hanging out in his room, playing with his toys, I hope.
The three Rags have been hanging with him; fascinated by his never-ending energy. (That, or they're hoping he screws up and gets sent back!)
Jack is still recovering from the Fourth of July firecrackers/fireworks.
Rooney is doing okay, as long as her Dad is home and she gets fed.
Me: Fancy, what's wrong, buddy? You doing okay?
Fancy: I'm fine. Just hurt my foot.
Me: Let me see it.
Fancy: No! Don't touch it! Don't even look at it! I was wrong. My foot is fine.
Me: Come on. You could have a cut or something. I need to see it.
Fancy: I'm fine. Go pester somebody else.
Me: Dash! Hey Dash, where are you? What's that noise?
Dash: Quick! Hide me! She's gonna put me in that room again!
Finn: What are you complaining about? That's a cool place! You have food and toys and your own freaking litter box! I'd stay in there!
Dash: Go ahead. It's yours. I want to be free! I like finding new things like the stuff in the tree that's not real. (Spanish Moss) She gets so upset when I try to eat it.
Chance: She lets you get away with a lot more stuff than we did. I can't even pee where I want without getting busted.
Eli: He's in here! He got into all your stuff. Are you finally gonna send him back?
Me: Not a chance! If I got rid of somebody just because they annoyed me, you'd be the first to go, pal. Lighten up.
Dash: Mommy, I'm hungry.
Me: Dash, you just had breakfast. Plus, you cleaned up everybody else's food.
Finn, Chance and Eli: That's right! He eats our food! Can you do something about that?
Me: Guys! There's more than enough food for everybody.
Jack: It's about time you fed us. A guy could starve to death around here.
Me: Jack, you are about fifty pounds overweight. You are not starving to death. It's the opposite of starving to death.
Rooney: Please feed me. I'm being so good. I love my Dad. Where's my Dad?
Me: Okay, you two. Here's your breakfast. Give me a break!
Dash (leaning over Rooney's bowl): Whatcha got in there? Can I have some?
Me: Dash! You cannot bug the Bullys when they're eating!
Dash: What's the big deal? She won't hurt me!
Me: Maybe Rooney won't, but Jack is another matter! Stay away when they're eating.
Dash: I can do what I want - watch!
Dash then goes soaring through the air - over top of Jack - from the table to the desk to the chair, stopping only to swat Jack's tail.
Jack: Can a guy eat in peace around here? Do something or I will!
Dash: Na,na,na,na,na,na - you can't get me!
Me: You're crazy! Come here. Let me hold you for awhile.
Dash: Lemme go! I'm not afraid of these dumb dogs!
Me: That's my point. You should be!
Jack: I can solve this problem with one growl. Can I do it - please!!?
Me: No, Jack. I've got this. Thanks anyway. Just finish your breakfast.
Even Petey, the hamster, and Roxy, the rabbit, have no qualms about letting their needs be known. If Petey's food dish is empty, he picks it up and bangs it against the glass to get my attention. If Roxy is in need of something, she thumps around her cage until I get the hint.
Anyone who thinks animals can't think, or have emotions, just isn't paying attention. From the tiniest creature to the largest, they communicate and express emotions. Why, just look at how they've learned how to get us to do their bidding! Nobody would ever come into this house and think I was in charge! The problem might be, they're too darn smart!
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