AppleTreePets: Day Ninety Two

Dogs' Pavlov

Quick Psych 101 lesson: Back in the 1890's in Russia, Ivan Pavlov discovered his dogs would start salivating when he entered the room, in anticipation of getting fed. He labeled it a conditioned response. He was the bringer of food; food made them drool; ergo the sight of him caused them to drool. He then added a bell to the equation. Eventually the ringing of the bell caused the dogs to drool. Pavlov and his dogs became famous for that. True story.

Image result for cartoon for pavlov's dogs

Well, I am challenging that theory today. I can, because this is my blog and I can do what I want. I don't think Pavlov taught the dogs anything. Rather, I think the dogs actually trained old Pavlov to feed them by getting him to think he was in charge. Pfft! Pavlov and his stupid little bell.

I can see it now - Dog Pack Leader, "Igor, you start salivating when the old man walks into the room." "Sir, I've got this - here goes!" (Drool commences.) As soon as Pavlov sees this, he assumes he has controlled the dogs' reaction by just showing up. He feeds them. The old fart didn't have a clue that he was being Jedi mind-controlled by a pack of dogs. They taught Pavlov to feed them as soon as he saw them drooling all over his nice carpet. Clever, huh? Adding the bell only made the dogs laugh. I'm pretty sure they wanted to relocate that thing to a certain part of his anatomy.

Image result for drawings of dogs using jedi mind control

And how do I support my theory? Easy. Years of experience being manipulated to believe my great ideas were really my own. My kids were masters at getting me to do what they wanted by making me think it was my bright idea. And now I have a whole house filled with creatures that mess with my mind in the same way. Unlike Pavlov, I know I'm not in control.

I am manipulated all day long. Every living thing in this house knows how to ring my bell. From early morning till late at night, I am cajoled, coerced and coaxed into action. Jack and Eli get things started. Eli sits outside of the bedroom wailing what sounds like, "Hello? Are you ever getting up?" The sound is so pitiful I immediately feel guilty. Jack knows that when he drags his bear claws down the wood on the side of my new bed, my eyes fly open and I jump up. He doesn't care that it's because I want to kill him. He's pretty sure he could take me on. All he cares about is that my ass is out of bed. It goes on from there, with cats making "puppy dog eyes" if they want something to Roxy ripping pieces of wood from her cage until I give her what she really wants - treats, hay, etc. That (literally) just happened.

I think it's hilarious when people think they "control" their pets. No, no, no. They just want you to think that. They have the advantage of mental telepathy. Think about it. It's how they know when their person is coming home - sometimes up to fifteen minutes before they pull into the driveway. Jack and Rooney tell me when Andy's almost here - he certainly doesn't! (That's not fair. He does call me. Usually when I'm in the middle of something and can't find my cell phone. Then he starts calling the house phone and I have to run to find that! It's a whole thing.) Anyway, my point is, if you think for one minute you're smarter than the average bear (dog, cat, rabbit, hamster, bird) give it up! They have it all over us simple humans.