In many ways, those little (and not so little) fur, feathered or finned people you live with can be a nuisance. They can be messy, irritating, confusing, smelly and pesky. For example, I am looking at a little guy who followed me into the laundry room and decided it would be fun to jump into the laundry tub - despite the fact it was loaded with various things which could do him harm. He had to be rescued from himself.
Then there's this tableau:
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| I was only gone for two minutes... |
Much has been written about the loyalty of dogs, the spirituality of cats, the calming effect of fish, etc. And we've all heard about the heroes of the animal kingdom that save people from burning buildings, alert them to a hidden medical condition or appear to them when life has dealt them a bad hand. I have my own list of reasons why I think animals are more humane than humans:
Animals forgive - People, not so much.
We've all been stunned (at least I have) at the stories of abused dogs who remain loyal to their abusers. With rare exception, a dog will forgive just about any form of cruelty. Even the horses which were rescued from abuse, learned to trust again. It took longer for some, but they eventually came to recognize and accept kindness. My own babies forgive me if I am engrossed in a book and forget suppertime. They remind me, but they don't hold a grudge.
I am unforgiving. Do what you want to me - I will just write you off. But forgive you, ummm not so fast. And if you commit any act against someone or thing I love - you're toast. I love animals and children, so any form of abuse against them instantly qualifies you to go to the top of my Shit List. And you will stay there in perpetuity or until I decide you have redeemed yourself. I'm not interested in punishment - that is anathema to my peace loving ways. No, I want you to prove you really understand what you did was wrong and work to improve the lives of other abuse victims. Period.
Animals are live and let live - People are Control Freaks.
While there are days when the guys (and girls, Rooney and Roxy) I live with try to vex me into doing their bidding, they are generally chill and just want the basics: food, love and potty breaks. If they act out (Dash) it's probably out of boredom. The last time I had to scramble so much to provide entertainment for another living being was when my son was a toddler. Same idea with Dash.
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| I want this ball - but it's stuck in here! |
People, on the other hand, are control freaks. I say "people" as in all people because I sincerely do not know another human who is not a control freak. Everybody wants to control somebody or something. They want to control each other, events, their pets, their environment, politics - even the weather. As an aside, I think climate change deniers are, in fact, controlling the environment - negatively.
See what I mean? I am the ultimate control freak. I admit to wanting to rule the world. If I did, the first thing I would end is control. Everyone would be fed, clothed and housed. Wars would cease. Abuse would be a thing of the past. Racism would be as well. Imagine...
I'll bet you're a control freak, too.
Animals scratch what itches - People try to hide theirs.
Andy left me a note this morning, "Jack has crud on his head." Okay. Of course he does. If Jack gets an itch, he scratches it. The problem is, his nails are like medieval implements of torture. When Jack scratches, it doesn't just serve to eradicate the itch. Nooo - it also takes a few layers of skin away, leaving a nasty skloob that usually gets infected. So, the note is actually an order to me to "fix" this issue. I will do my best.
Where was I going with this? Oh, yea, animals do what comes naturally. If they get an itch, they scratch it. If they have gas, they blow it out. If they get a hairball, they hack it up. And they are not discerning. You could have the POTUS in your parlor - they will do all of those things if need be - right in front of him - right on him if he happens to be in their way.
Jack does not follow the line of logic which says, if you take a drink and walk away with water gushing from your jowls like a broken water main, a human could slide in it, fall and break their neck. Which is why a human must follow him around with a bath towel.
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| I do not know whose dog this is but it could easily have been one of ours... |
Most humans try to pretend they don't poop. I have actually had someone say to me once, "My shit literally does not stink." Who makes a claim like that!? I suggested she see a doctor, but she was not amused. I mean, she was proud of that; like she should get an award or something! And people (mostly women) would actually prefer exploding than passing gas in public.
Think of the words we've created for urine - pee, tinkle, wee wee, etc. It's urine. And half the time, as soon as I stand up, I am in danger of losing mine. Ahh, the joys of incontinence. Thanks to Boomers, a whole profitable industry is devoted to this problem.
I have to make sure I've "visited the potty" before letting the dogs out. Once, in the middle of the night, Jack had to go - bad. So, I went out with him. He was taking awhile and all of a sudden, I had to go! Now, there is a vine covered wall around our backyard. It gives one the illusion of privacy. I had to tinkle so bad, I figured, why not? So I squatted down, right there in my yard. Two things happened simultaneously - Jack took notice and the motion sensor spotlight came on! There I was, already committed to the act; face to face with a giant dog who was trying to figure out what I was doing - and a spotlight beaming down on me. I just said, screw it. If someone is awake at 3 a.m. spying on my backyard, they deserve what they get.
Humans are so embarrassed to be - human.
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