"What was I thinking?" That went through my mind several times last night as I spent another night in the front bedroom. I could have shut the bedroom door. I should have shut the bedroom door. But, the cats like to hang out in there and I felt guilty closing one more door on them. Drat this conscience of mine! Where did it come from?? Must have been some long lost ancestor who did something awful and was cursed to have a relative born in the 20th century with an uberschussige gewissen...
I think that means "excess of conscience" but it could mean "big fat butt."
Hey, what do you want from someone who got ten minutes of sleep?
It started out relatively calm. I was surprised, but content. I figured the novelty had worn off from the night before and maybe the cats would leave me alone. I even hoped maybe Dash would cuddle up next to me again. I was wrong. As I was drifting off, I could sense someone staring at me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Dash sitting right next to my face, staring into my eyes. It wasn't a look of love, either. He looked like he was contemplating whether or not to kill me in my sleep. And there I was thinking he wanted to cuddle up next to me! He did not. He had other plans. I wish I had known how truly "Chucky" he was going to be. I would have slept in my car in the garage.
Like animals who sense a tsunami or other natural (or supernatural) disasters, the other cats stayed away. I should have taken that as a warning. But nobody pays attention to those animals running for the hills, do they? Well, Chance hung in there. But he lived to regret it.
Dash was possessed. For some inexplicable reason, my hip was his first target. He tried to sink his tiny, needle teeth into it but, thankfully, the blanket provided some barrier. Then he started working his way down my leg. Once again, I was tired and I admit to being stupid. I kept thinking he was surely getting tired of this game of Piranha. That was until he got to my uncovered foot. When his teeth sunk into flesh, that got my attention! I sat straight up and yelled. He jumped off the bed - not to hide but to plan his next attack. He was just getting started.
Poor Chance became his next victim. I could sense the tension, and heard some vocalizations of protest - but I was groggy and couldn't move. Come to think of it, I wonder if that little stinker slipped something into my drink! I wouldn't put it past him...
The attacks went on all night. I even incorporated them into my dreams which were bizarre - all about murder and mayhem! In another dream someone was shoving a rabbit's foot into my mouth. Then they stuck it up my nose, then into my eyeball! I woke up to see Dash sitting in front of me - again. This time, the "rabbit's foot" of my dream was actually his paw. He was using it like an alien using a probe. As I sputtered and spat out cat hairs, I remember also wondering when he had last stepped in a litter box. I'm pretty sure I also let out a few expletives. He sat there looking at me like, "Oh, well since you're awake, I'm bored and could probably go for something to eat." As I laid back down I'm pretty sure I could hear maniacal laughter...
At some point, I had a dream someone was braiding my hair! But it felt so real. After the paw up my nose, mouth and eye event, I thought maybe this wasn't really a dream after all. I forced myself awake, only to realize Dash was twisting the hair on the back of my head. He was sitting there twirling my hair around his paw like a little kid. I was seriously tired of all the attention and wondered if I would even make through the night.
In keeping with the demon theme, the assaults ceased with the sunrise. Like Dracula, he is sound asleep now. I think I might go poke him in the eye. Or look for a wooden stake...In any event there will not be a third night spent in that torture chamber!
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| You're getting verrry sleepy... |
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