Me: "I've called this meeting to just check in and see how everyone's doing. Let's start with the smallest and work our way up. Petey, how's life treating you?"
Petey: "I can't complain. Although I do wish you would stop taking all my fluffy stuff away, just when I get it the way I like it."
Me: "Do you mean your bedding? I change it because it starts to stink!"
Petey: "Well, I store my food and get everything in order, then POOF, it's gone! I'm just sayin..."
Me: "I hear you, but I still have to change your litter. I'll try to be more careful with your piles of food. Sorry."
Me: "Okay, Roxy? Your turn. Any comments?"
Roxy: "Yes! I really like those treat stick things you hang on the cage. Could you get some more?"
Me: "Well, sure, but the last time I went to the pet store they told me I might be feeding you too much. Those treats are supposed to be that - a treat. You do eat a lot."
Roxy: "Are you saying I'm fat?"
Me: "No. I'm saying you eat a lot. It's my fault cause I know there isn't much to do in there. I guess I give you treats so you don't get bored."
Roxy: "Just give me the treats and let me worry about boards. I like to chew them, too. I like my home. Nobody bothers me. Well, except for those huge animals that like to smell me through the cage - and eat my poop! What's up with that??"
Me: "I said bored, not board. Never mind. I hear you. I'll keep the treats coming, and the dogs away."
Me: "Dash, you're up. How do you like living here so far? Dash? Over here."
Dash: "Wheeeee - what's going on? I want to play!"
Me: "I know but we're having a family meeting. Would you just focus for a second and tell me how you're feeling?"
Dash: "I'm fine! Except these cats aren't like the ones I used to live with. Now they knew how to have fun! I miss 'em."
Me: "I know. But you've been teaching Chance and Finn how to play. They're trying."
Dash: "They're nice enough. But they don't get it. They aren't fast like me! (psst I think that one might be a little bit stupid...he doesn't even know how to use a litter box!) And I don't like that really big dog. He's mean. And I don't like it when you put me in that tiny room."
Me: "Well, gosh. You have some issues, huh. First of all, he is not stupid. Try to be patient with your big brothers. Second, just stay away from Jack. Third, if you want to be loose at night you have to prove to me I can trust you. Dumping the litter box over right before bedtime isn't scoring you any freedom points. Any other complaints?"
Dash: "Yes! The man keeps shutting me in the food room. I hate that!"
Me: "It's called a pantry. And you need to stop sneaking in there every time he opens the door. There is nothing in there for you, so try staying out. The same goes for the laundry room. I'm scared to death you're going to climb into the dryer as I'm tossing clothes in. I knew somebody who lost her cat that way. Dash? Where did he go?"
Fancy: "He left awhile ago. You've been talking to yourself."
Me: "Sheesh. This is harder than I thought it would be. Who wants to go next? Fancy? Have you got any complaints? Go ahead. I'm taking notes."
Fancy: "I'm cool."
At this point, the Rags are asleep and Fancy is the only one paying attention. Jack and Rooney are snoring away in the living room. Oh well. I guess everything is status quo. At least until there's another change, or somebody gets in somebody else's space. How did Noah do it?
to be continued....
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