With apologies to Judith Viorst, I just had to borrow her title, which perfectly described Jack's Friday. Of course, "Alexander" had a few more adventures, but they both ended up frazzled and worse for the wear. And both lived to see another day.
Jack is usually a very brave guy. He knows his job is to protect the family. Sometimes he takes it a little too far, like when he body slams the front door over a little squirrel who violates the no-fly zone (front porch.) Jack gets very disturbed when a dog walks past the house, whether it's a tiny Chihuahua or a Pit Bull. And there are only a few delivery folks who get a pass.
The thing is, sometimes Jack forgets he's an enormous Bullmastiff who looks like he could kill two men at once. People see Vlad the Impaler. Jack sees himself as a helpless villager. I have seen both sides. He can go from Protector of the Universe to Wimpy Kid in a matter of minutes. Like when he's outside and a butterfly flits by or he hears a strange sound. He jumps like he's on meth. Jack fears what he cannot see.
Well, yesterday was not his day. First of all, I made the mistake (as I do so often when I slip into "Mum Mode") of turning on the stereo, to hopefully catch my son's radio interview. I love that boy dearly but he simply cannot give more than a few minutes notice on - well - anything. A typical scenario:
Son: "Mum, what are you up to?"
Me: "Nothing really. Just performing brain surgery."
Son: "Cool. Can you watch the kids?"
Me: "Well, I have to finish this brain surgery first but, sure, I would love to see them! When are you bringing them by?"
Son: "I'm in the driveway."
So, because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, when I read on Facebook that he was doing another interview, right then, I dropped what I was doing and forgot everything around me. As soon as I turned on the cursed radio and heard the loud snap and crackle, I knew I had screwed up. Jack, who "helps" me with everything I do, so was right there next to me, heard the sound and immediately lost his mind. Deja Vu. He looked at me like I had betrayed him - again - and bolted. I heard the (now) familiar crashing of the bedroom door as Jack attempted to put as much distance between himself and the monster in the wall. I found him hiding in the bathroom.
No sooner did Jack start to calm down from the speaker trauma, when a more insidious enemy approached. A Florida thunderstorm. (duh, duh, duh dunnnn.)
Andy was home by this time, and he got to witness a Jack meltdown. We were in the family room with the TV on. I had just said how much I love the sound of rolling thunder when a lightning bolt exploded right over top of the house! I'm talking ear splitting, flash of white light, sure it's curtains for all of us, KABOOM! Jack jumped straight up in the air, which is like saying, "Why, look! That walrus jumped straight up in the air." Then he started shaking. Jack had never even flinched before over thunderstorms. Damn those speakers.....
By the end of the day, Jack was wasted and couldn't wait to go to bed. He had to endure horrible sounds, and put up with cats - two things that he can handle separately, just not on the same day. Little Man is testing boundaries again (messing with Jack while he's eating) and Jack's nerves are frayed. I wonder if dogs can drink a shot of whiskey? I know it helps Mum.
| One for me and one for Jack... |
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