Every day I wonder what I'll write about next. Then, as if by design, each day brings new material. I'll get to the family meeting in a moment, but first a recap of my morning:
Andy was standing in the bedroom doorway saying goodbye and, of course, Eli slipped in. He made a beeline for me and jumped onto my chest where he proceeded to show me how much he luvs me. His idea of showing affection is quite painful. It involves practically smothering me, lots of kneading (claws included) on my poor neck and smashing my skull with his head as hard as he possibly can. (After re-reading that I did some editing. The first version was R-rated.)
Now, if that was Andy I wouldn't mind. But there is no advantage to this cat's lovemaking. I want to hurl him across the room. (If Andy is driving or sipping coffee while reading this, he has just wrecked or spewed coffee all over the person across from him. We are old and tired, and well, you fill in the blanks.)
While I was trying to wake up, I heard several crashes coming from outside the bedroom. Andy was still here when the first crash occurred. He informed me it was Dash knocking his computer to the (tile) floor. (As an aside, he now just reports the Dash news, with a shrug and a matter-of-fact attitude.)
I learned the origin of the second crash when I walked into the kitchen.
Yesterday, the little monkey finally figured out how to unzip his screened enclosure. It is double zippered, so I thought I was safe. However, he is smart and dexterous and can figure out just about anything, given time. I tell you, this breed is part ferret with some monkey thrown in. When I sent the picture to Andy he suggested I tie a bowling ball to his neck to slow him down.
I'm just going to write a book all about living with an Aby. It will discourage some from getting one, I'm sure. But for those who love living with a carefree, clever spirit - they're just the ticket. If someone had told me a year ago I would be living with such a creature, I would have laughed. But then again, if someone had told me I would be catching lizards with my bare hands...
So, as for the Family Meeting, this is the final segment (for awhile.)
Me: "Jack! Today is your birthday! You're five years old!" Now, I could have said, "Jack! Blahbla blah blah blahbla! Blah blah blah blah!" for all he cared. He just gave me the look.
Jack: "Huh? What? I didn't do it! Did I do something wrong? I swear, I did not mean to hurt your cat!"
Me: "Wait. What cat? What did you do? Is that what happened while I was gone?"
Jack: "I don't know what you're talking about. Who said that? I never growled at your stupid cat when he jumped over the gate into my space! Is that what he told you? He's lying. It's your fault for letting him run loose."
Me: "You are so busted. That's it - I'm installing cameras. Anyway, happy birthday."
It is pointless to ask Rooney if anything is wrong because absolutely nothing bothers her. Well, she isn't happy when her Dad leaves. But other than that, she takes everything in stride. Her only display of emotion is the pouty face when Jack is next to Dad on the couch.
For his birthday, Jack got a cupcake from Bark Avenue. He also got a new toy. Now, I have learned that giving Jack a new toy can be a dangerous undertaking. He acts like you just gave him a big, raw, T-bone steak - the last one on Earth - and he must guard it with his life. I got a toy for Rooney, too, but he thinks he must have any and all things on "special days." To humiliate him, I mean, for fun, I made them both wear party hats. Nothing is sillier than adorning a Bullmastiff...Well there was that time my husband put on a dress and floppy straw hat for Halloween....
Where was I? Oh, yes, Jack's birthday. So Jack had to let Rooney know both toys belonged to him. She didn't care. Jack and Rooney each got a cupcake, and I'm lucky to have all my fingers. It was fun. Life is good.
Jack: "Huh? What? Is that good? Am I good? Are you still mad about your cat?"
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