AppleTreePets: Day One Hundred Forty Six

Cats 101 - There Are No Rules, Silly

I could not get this post written to save my life! No sooner would I sit down, when I would hear a peculiar sound which had to be identified. I have never heard so many different sounds - snuffles, wheezes, clangs, bangs, etc. - some I haven't even been able to identify! Everybody is whacky today. Something is in the air...

For some reason, our bedroom has become the It Place for the cats. Well, I know the reason. It's because we don't want them in there. Here's why:
1) Andy wants a Cat Free Zone and refuses to have them in the bedroom at night. I can't imagine why. I mean, it's not like he has to get rest, which is nearly impossible with five cats playing Tag, using his body as Base.
2) There really is only one reason.

Those of you living with cats know that nothing is more enticing and desirable to a cat than something they aren't supposed to do or have. The opposite is also true. Nothing is more repugnant and revolting to them than something you really want them to do, eat or use. To prove my point, I have scratching posts next to shredded leather furniture, a boat load of rejected cat food, and pee surrounding perfectly nice litter boxes.

Um, a little help here...

They also interchange weirdness. For example, Finn is, for all intents and purposes, the ideal cat. He is sweet, kind and a rule follower. He always uses the litter box, has never so much as put a claw on any furniture and doesn't start fights. However, he is the most finicky eater of the bunch. I simply cannot find a food he will eat. And I have tried them all. He isn't wasting away, but I'm not sure where he's getting his caloric intake. For all I know, he could be raiding the fridge at night.

Finn, in a rare moment of culinary approval -
However, moments after this pic was taken,
he covered the food with the placemat and the pot holder.

Chance is a darling boy; so sweet and loving. He just refuses to consistently use the litter box. I have tried every suggestion out there; every litter on the market and have litter boxes all over the house. It is maddening. But look at that cute, little face...

Fancy is, in my opinion, the perfect cat. But Mr. Perfection still has his faults. Every leather chair in this house bears witness to his magnificent clawing abilities. And, if anyone can escape through your legs into a forbidden zone, he's the guy. I know what he's thinking - "Look. You didn't really think I was going to listen to you, did you? I mean, I'm willing to play the game, but you and I both know if I want to go in there or out of here, I can and will. I still love you, though. Nice haircut, by the way."

Eli. Oh, Eli. Now, he pretty much eats what I serve. He definitely uses the litter box, and rarely scratches the furniture. But he has many annoying habits, not the least of which is his singular focus on dominating me. He also loves to break out of the joint and knows the weak spot on the bottom of the back door. It's like the button on a hidden passage way - push it and voila! - freedom! Also, Eli hasn't met a throw rug he doesn't want to shred or a cat he doesn't want to kill. Other than that, he's good.

I saved the most entertaining for last. Where do I begin? First of all, he abides by Cat Etiquette when it comes to using a litter box and not scratching the furniture. That's about it. He does eat - everybody's food. However, if I serve something he dislikes, he pushes the bowl onto the floor. It always lands upside down. By now you know I'm referring to - Dash. Read on...

He bores easily. One would think having four other cats in the house with which to play would satisfy his insatiable need for entertainment. It doesn't. Dash has checked out, with great intensity, everything in this house that ticks, swooshes, flushes, beats, heats, whirs, flashes, and breathes.

One day, he was insistent on exploring the shelf where the stereo system resides. Not wanting him to get tangled in cords or worse - get electrocuted - I would remove him from the spot. He would jump back up. This went on for awhile. Eventually the mystery was solved. One of his "fishing pole" toys was behind the stereo. He wanted it, so he got it - all by himself. Once he got it down, he then proceeded to try to get it to "work." After several unsuccessful attempts, he looked at in disgust and walked off.

Dash also knows the best hiding places. Even though I know a door hasn't been opened, and just moments before I saw a Dash Flash out of the corner of my eye, I still have that heart-stopping moment when I fear he may have gotten out. Nothing would surprise me, either. I have seen him unzip his enclosure and use his paws like they belong to a mutant creature. Life is the opposite of boring with Dash around.

As I was typing this, I heard a strange clanging sound. When I went to investigate, I discovered all five cats in my bedroom, with Finn stuck by a claw to the mini blinds. He seemed relieved to see me, and patiently waited while I unhooked him. Dash was running back and forth like he needed to get in as much 'snoop time' as possible before he got evicted from The Room. I just heard another suspicious sound, followed by three of the five flying out of the room like they'd seen a ghost. I really need to stop writing and go be Mom now.