There was some excitement in our house in the middle of the night. But first, let me detail events prior to that - at bedtime.
I've been debating whether or not to let Dash loose at night. Since his arrival, he has gone into his enclosure whenever we leave the house and at bedtime. There is plenty of room in there for him plus his food, water, litter box, bed, and toys. I usually have to kick one of the other guys out cause they love his digs. Anyway, I started thinking maybe he was mature enough to handle being free in the house while we slept. I even asked him and he did his classic "paw on my face" routine, which I think is his way of reassuring (or conning) me.Yes, I am the world's biggest sucker.
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| Who wouldn't believe that face? |
So, I went through the bedtime routine of changing the water, filling the food bowl and cleaning his litter box. But, instead of chasing him around to put him to bed, I just walked away. He did not know what to do. He kept pacing back and forth; trying to decide if he should hide, or approach me for an answer.
Andy was chuckling because the poor guy was in a quandary. It takes a very smart creature to know when something isn't quite right. He's been used to our routine of bedtime "hide and seek" so this new move baffled him. Eventually, my mommy genes kicked in and I decided to put him to bed one more time. I couldn't stop thinking of all the ways he could hurt himself - and the house. He almost seemed relieved.
As I type this he is engaged in a game of hide and seek with two other guys - inside the sofa! He is the only cat out of five that even noticed the sofa might make a cool hiding place. And, he just pulled a classic fake out maneuver! Eli was waiting for him to pop out of the sofa, but Dash found a different exit and came at him from behind! Eli jumped a foot off the ground!
Okay, so back to last night. I finally went to bed. Sometime in the middle of the night, I got up to go to the bathroom. Apparently I fell asleep in there, long enough for all my extremities to go completely numb. I tried to stand but my feet felt like blocks of wood with a rounded bottom! My arms were totally numb. I walked like a Weeble but managed to make it to the sink, then realized I was blacking out. My BP is strange and I guess I just blew its mind.
I have fainted many times in the past, so I tried to fight it. I laid down on the tile before I fell down on the tile, and managed to call for Andy. He miraculously heard me and came running, yelling, "What the hell, Babe!? Are you dying??" I tried to explain what happened, but was fighting waves of nausea. I told him to get me a bucket!
At that point he was completely baffled. I know he wasn't expecting me to wash the floor while I was down there, so he couldn't quite figure out why I wanted a bucket! I croaked out, "garbage can!" I am laughing now but at the time, it was insane. He stood there and calmly said to me, as I lay dying on the floor, "Well, there's a can in here, then there's the wicker one. Which do you want?" He sounded like an interior decorator! I lost it. I yelled to him to bring me something to throw up in!
A garbage can instantly appeared. Andy was now pacing back and forth. I did not throw up. I did not faint. I did not die. I did crawl to the bed, with him warning me to watch my knees. As I was lying there, I decided I should probably walk a bit to get my circulation going. As I was leaving the bedroom and he was getting back into bed, he said, "While you're up would you make me a muffin and a cup of tea?" Yea, right. Funny guy.
Now, here's the cool animal part - When I opened the bedroom door, all of the (free) cats were standing there, anxiously wanting to know what was going on. Fancy was the most distressed; twirling around me and reaching to be picked up. I assured them everything was okay. When they were finally convinced, everybody but Fancy went back to bed. He stayed near me; watching.
It was after 3 a.m. I heard Dash crying so I figured, hey, it's only a few hours till morning. So I let him out. You would have thought he had been released from a shoe box! He flew from one end of the house to the other and found all sorts of things to chase, including his brothers who just wanted to go back to sleep. Fancy gave me a withering look. I just shrugged and said, "Don't kill him. I'm going back to bed."
Andy was still awake when I crawled back into bed. I asked him if he really wanted that muffin and he said he was just messing with me. I wished him, "Happy Anniversary! It's a good thing I didn't die, huh? That would have sucked." And he got very quiet. Then I heard, "Are you (bleeping) me?" He was sputtering and stuttering and I just patted him on the arm and said, "You have all day to shop..."
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