I am now a mere 65 days away from reaching my goal of writing daily about the exploits of living with animals. I have tried to express, as accurately as possible, the goings on living with two dogs, six cats, a rabbit and a lizard. We also lost a loved one this year, Petey the hamster.
In the spirit of full disclosure, here is a sample of my morning routine:
Awake somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m.
Sit up, grope for my glasses and stumble out to the kitchen to make coffee. Curse when the coffee maker is turned off due to someone, who shall remain nameless, stepping on the power button. Wait an interminable amount of time for water to get hot.
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| What? |
Go back to bedroom, with coffee, a protein shake and Boo! at my heels.
Turn on the TV and get pissed off because The Today Show has their daily five minute phone call with Donald Trump. I time it and get angrier as the minutes tick by. I wait for Al Roker's weather report (I love Al and he is the only reason I can't break away from this unctuous - nod to LJ who loves that word - network's exploitation of the political debacle.)
Turn off TV and begin my day.
Get six cat bowls from the dishwasher. Try to remember what the cats ate last and what they will eat and not bury under napkins - I have photos. I give up and just grab three cans. Try to dispense food evenly with Boo!'s head in the way, while she stands in the other bowls, preventing me from filling them. Fancy is usually quite perturbed by this. Manage to get all bowls filled as they do their choreography of going from one bowl to the next; convinced I have put Super Colossal Gourmet Cat Food in somebody else's bowl.
Warm up the coffee I have barely touched.
Say good morning to Copper who is anxiously awaiting the cricket drop. Whack a few tubes causing them to dispense their hidden treasure. Make Copper happy. Beg her to poop. Remove water bowl and food bowl. Decide it is time to change out the bedding.
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| If Bearded Dragons drank coffee... |
Simultaneously feed Jack and Rooney and give them fresh water, while getting supplies ready to clean Copper's abode. It is important to note, all this time I have been followed closely by Boo! She is extremely interested in all things lizard.
Try to remove old substrate from lizard aquarium before Jack finishes his breakfast. He is part duck and once his digestive system is activated, must complete the cycle quickly. In other words, as soon as he eats, he has to poop.
Attempt to calm Copper who is convinced the scoop I am using to remove old bedding is an instrument of death. I fail to convince her otherwise, so I just carry on. Finish my job just as Jack has finished his meal and is standing by back door along with five of the six cats. Boo! is still swinging on the shelf; hanging by her front toes; trying to get a better look at Copper.
Open the door and warn Jack to be careful because there is a big bin lid on the floor in front of it. (It served as a barricade last night when I attempted to put Jack and Rooney out without one or more cats escaping. It is nearly impossible to catch them when it is dark.) He ignored me; stepped on the lid and went sliding across the porch. He was not injured, just embarrassed.
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| I'm ok - I'm ok |
Warm coffee again.
Got out the bag of kale to chop into tiny lizard-sized pieces. I find this oddly enjoyable. Now, mind you, I hate to chop food for a human meal, but preparing food for another creature is right up my alley. Fill the too-shallow water bowl and drag a towel behind me with my foot as I slosh water everywhere. I learned this trick after returning to the kitchen one day and nearly falling on my ass when I slipped on a patch of water. Copper has been cricketed, kaled, watered, cleaned and petted. She is content. (I pray she poops today. Funny how my prayers have changed over the years...)
Pour the cup of coffee down the drain because now, it is not only cold but also contains cat hairs, and start over. Remember it is trash collection day. Run out with heavy bag filled with lizard "sand" and a huge dog food bag. Wait. I forgot the bag the first time and had to go back out a second time. This time the squirrels were waiting for me so I had to give them their peanuts and fill their water bowl. I never forget the water bowl after seeing a squirrel one day try to lick moisture off the front porch carpet. That little gesture broke my heart. They have fresh water daily.
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| Actually, it doesn't.... |
Came back in and assessed everything:
Jack and Rooney - fed, watered and relieved. (check)
Cats - fed and happily outside. (check) Somewhere in there I also scooped litter boxes.
Copper - fed, etc. (check)
Squirrels - peanuts and water. (check)
Oh, and while I was on the porch with everybody else I checked to make sure Roxy had both water bottles filled and lots of goodies to eat. (check)
It was after 9 and I still hadn't had a whole cup of coffee. The freshly made stuff was cold so I had to start over. I am now at my desk on the computer, with only the crumbs remaining from a slice of sugar-free pound cake. Yep. My coffee is cold - again! Note to self: Just put it in a thermos from now on. You will burn your tongue, but at least your damn coffee will be HOT!
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| I am just gonna drink my coffee this way from now on - hot and no cat hairs!!! |
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