Day Two Hundred Eighty Four

Where is My Funnel Thinking Cap?

While doing my morning chores, I noticed someone had "missed" the litter box. There are three giant litter boxes surrounding that space. Missing a box is virtually impossible; therefore intentional. I looked around and saw Chance staring up at me.

Me: Chance, what happened?

Chance: I peed on the floor.

Me: Well, I can see that. Why did you pee on the floor?

Chance: I don't know. I just did. Are you mad at me?

Me: No. I'm not mad at you. I don't like what you did, but I'm not angry with you. I just wish I knew why you do this. You've been such a good boy for a long time now.

Chance: I don't know why I do it. That place is all mine now. Nobody else will pee there.

Me: Ah hah! I think I finally understand. Hmmm - well there are seven litter boxes around here. I wish I could figure out how to make one just for you. Let me put on my Thinking Cap. In the meantime, would you please use the boxes that are here for everybody? I hate cleaning up pee off the floor.

Chance: Okay, I'll try. But if I forget, you won't get mad, right?

Me: Chance, look, I love you and I will try to solve this problem, but you're gonna have to meet me halfway.

Sometimes, with animals (and humans) it's important to get to the "why." Too often we get stuck on the "what" and can't get past it. If it's possible, try to find out what is causing the unhealthy/confusing/dangerous/destructive behavior and work toward either fixing the problem or learning to live with it.

 

Then there's the third option - letting go. As in moving on, saying goodbye, cutting the ties. With animals, there have been times in my life when I've had to let go. Heidi comes to mind. She was a beautiful, protective GSD (German Shepherd Dog) with one problem - she hated kids. The end result was in her biting a neighbor's little boy as he rode past our house on his bike. We had no choice then but to re-home her. She lived out the rest of her days with my father. Rocky, our Boxer, was another example of running out of options and making the tough decision. His problems were so intense there was no other recourse but to have him put down.

Poco, our mare, was another example of having to let go. Through no fault of her own, and after thousands of dollars in vet care and countless hours of our trying to restore her to good health, it was determined the solution would have to be to send her out of Florida. She was so allergic to the air here she couldn't breathe. That was the most heart wrenching thing I've ever been through. Keeping her here would have been selfish. I had to let her go to save her life.

 

For those of you reading this who've had human relationship issues that continue to pose challenges - sometimes you just have to cut the cord. And it doesn't matter if the person is related to you or someone you know through work or social settings. There are people whose personal journey has taken them to some strange or dark places and they aren't aware of the damage they inflict.

 

Sometimes they do know and either do it intentionally or because they don't possess the desire or tools to change. Whether it's a mother, partner, friend, in-law, co-worker, boss - if they are causing you emotional or physical harm - you must save yourself and let go. If, after all your efforts to help have gone unnoticed or unheeded, then say goodbye. It will hurt but in the long run you will be happier. The freedom you experience from letting go of a toxic relationship is well worth the grief of leaving.

Little Chance isn't going anywhere. If the worst thing he does is pee next to the litter box, well so be it. I'm going to go get my funnel  Tom Terrific Thinking Cap and try to come up with a way he has his very own place to pee. I'll keep you posted.


Tom Terrific and Mighty Manfred, the Wonder Dog.
Golly. It just hit me. I've based my entire life on this character!
That even looks like Jack giving me the,
"Here she goes again." eye roll.

The picture is blurry so you can't see my
Thinking Cap. Trust me, it's there...